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FROM THE 



Marriage License 
Window. 



An Analysis of the Characteristics of the Various 
Nationalities. 



OBSERVATIONS MADE, AND INCIDENTS TOLD. 



FACTS FROM EVERY-DAY LIFE. 



By Mf'SALMONSON, -H :.'. 
u 

EX-MARRIAGE LICENSE DEPUTY FOR COOK COUNTY. ILLINOIS. 



CHICAGO : 

John Anderson & Co., Printers. 

1887. 









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6 ■' 



Entered according to Act of Congress in the year 1887, by 

M. SALMONSON, 
in the Office of the Librarian of Congress, at Washington, D. C. 



RIGHT OF TRANSLATION RESERVED. 



LC Control Numb* 



tmp96 026379 



CONTENTS. 



CHAPTER I.— The Window — The Human Heart— The 
Thermometer of Love — A Philosopher's View — 
Socrates. 

CHAPTER II. — Marriage a Practical Affair — Mar- 
riage contra Divorces — The Marriage Instinct — 
Man Needs a Partner — Marriage a Lottery — Rela- 
tive Happiness — The Feeling of Responsibility 

CHAPTEB III. — Encouraging to Marriage — Nihilistic 
Views — Malthus — Early Marriages — Optimistic 
Views. 

CHAPTER IV. — Peculiarities of Languages — Difficul- 
ties — Beautiful Peculiarities — A Graceful Lan- 
guage — A Matter-of-Fact Language — The Language 
of Abstract Philosophy — A Melodious Language. 

CHAPTER V. — Some American Characteristics — The 
Busy American — The Sedate American — Irish Amer- 
icans. 

CHAPTER VI. — Patrick — His Devotion to His Church — 
His Hope of Liberation. 

CHAPTER VII.— Stern Faces — Orthodox Poles — Free- 
hinking Bohemians — German Profundity — Do You 
Speak German ? — Philosophical Dispositions — So- 
cialism — Sociability. 

CHAPTER VIII "The Melancholy Dane "— Religious 

Tolerance — Norwegian National Pride — The Typi- 
cal Norwegian — The Frenchman of the North — 
Religious Views — Swedish Pride. 

CHAPTER IX. — Models for Artists — Italians — A Beau- 
tiful Couple — A Bohemian Bride and Groom — A 
Hackman — From Hand to Mouth — Cooperation — 
Economical Deductions. 



CONTENTS. 

CHAPTER X. — Disagreeably Surprised — A Girl of Age 

— A Reasonable Doubt — An Angry Mother — Pa- 
rents' Punishments — Subtraction. 

CHAPTER XI.— An Old Couple — Some Motives — Dar- 
ing Experiments — Old Age and Blooming Youth — 
Disproportion 

CHAPTER XII. — Forcing Circumstances — Horny Hands 

— Different Directions — Only Three Fingers — A 
Military Salute — An Amusing Incident — The Silk 
Hat — Runaway Couples — From a Neighboring State. 

CHAPTER XIII.— Not in a Hurry — Many Excuses — A 
Gratified Demand — Suppressing — Delicate Cases — 
The License List — Exceptions — A Surprising Ques- 
tion — A Queer Groom — Closely Watched — Demands 
on the Memory — Interrogation — Many Names — A 
Colored Philosopher — A Practical Man — Good Un- 
til Used — Unhappy Girls. 

CHAPTER XIV.— Intricate and Plain Questions — Si- 
lent Applicants — Loquacious Candidates — A Jail 
M arr iage — Compulsion . 

CHAPTER XV. — Applicant from Russian Poland — He- 
brew Signatures — Jacob and Rachel — Celestial 
Marriages. 

CHAPTER XVI. — In Excellent Humor — An Invitation 
to " Stand Up " — Black and White — Mixed Marriages. 

CHAPTER XVII. — Superstition — A Wedding Postponed 
— "Call Again" — Saturday — Monday — The Farmers' 
Day — Certificates. 

CHAPTER XVIII.— Busy Days — A Comical Error— A 
Dramatic Scene — Cupid's Hunting Season. 

CHAPTER XIX. — Given Names — From the Old and New 
Testament — Historical and Dramatic Names — Com- 
plicated Names — Names Translated — "Rats." 

CHAPTER XX. — Girls as Applicants — Nervous Men — 
" Under the Weather" — Hypnotism. 



CHAPTER I. 



The Window. — The Human Heart. — The Ther- 
mometer of Love. — A Philosopher's View. — 
Socrates. 

PERHAPS it may be superfluous to call at- 
tention to the fact that there is a window 
in the county clerk's office bearing the 
inscription, "Marriage Licenses." Those who 
have not personally seen that window, a mere 
framework, however, surmounted on a desk, 
may have read about it in the daily journals, 
where the licenses are chronicled day after day 
all the year round. Spring and summer, fall 
and winter, this window is literally open to those 
who, on the right side of our matrimonial laws, 
are approaching the connubial life. And from 
the time that the office is opened in the morning 
till it is closed in the evening the pilgrimage to 
this window is incessant. Now it is a solitary 
wanderer, whose mind for a long while has been 
bent on the matrimonial Mecca. Soon a group 



of several individuals, each faithfully and pa- 
tiently waiting for his turn to make oath 
— hats off and hands erect — to the effect that 
he is the possessor of all the qualifications pre- 
scribed by law entitling him to have the knot 
tied which is to unite him to the choice of his 
heart or intellect, as the case may be. And 
the number of all these applicants is growing, in 
the course of a year, to quite vast proportions, 
the total of which may be estimated in round 
figures at twenty-two thousand souls. 

What a sum of love, intellect and sentiments 
this number represents! But what if we could 
follow these many souls on their wanderings 
through life, say only a couple of years after 
their marriage, how would we not, in hundreds of 
instances, be surprised at the change of love, at 
the sorrows, disappointed expectations, miseries 
and calamities, as results of inharmonious matri- 
monial unions? The human heart is not always 
beating in the sweet tempo of love. It is full of 
passions and will sometimes harbor feelings in 
direct contrast to the saying that man is the 
noblest of all creation. The young couple who 
adore each other to-day, while they are engaged, 
may two years after their wedding curse the 
fate that united them in wedlock. 



As everybody knows, a great deal of poetry 
and prose has been written in honor of love. 
Poets of both sexes have at all times, and will 
most likely to the last day continue to do so, 
extolled in writing and speech this feeling or 
abstraction, or illusion, a single definition of 
which is meaningless. It is with love as with 
cold or hot air; it is measured according to its 
degree of strength. A thermometer of love, 
properly constructed, would show a great many 
divisions. According to the notions of our days 
the Platonic love is below zero, for the great 
philosopher advocated a mere spiritual love 
without animal desire. It is a cold love, abso- 
lutely out of fashion, void of passion, admiring 
its object at a respectful distance through the 
coldest and most unimpassioned contemplation. 
A little above zero the degree will show the 
chivalrous love, a form well-known from the 
middle ages. A chevalier of that time would 
not dare to propose, and a lady would not accept, 
until he in the arena had broken a lance in honor 
of her. We certainly have chevaliers in Chicago, 
but instead of breaking lances after the olden 
fashion, nowadays we make our fights in another 
manner. We are diplomats and good calcu- 
lators, and we do not want to go back to quasi- 



8 

barbarian modes to win a girl ; and, on the other 
hand, she does not wish her lover to enter an 
arena even if he had only to fight the famous 
John L. It would be an insurmountable task to 
describe all the degrees of such a thermometer. 
Its climax would show the blood-heat love with 
all its subdivisions,— the enthusiastic, the fanatic, 
the blind, the deep, the unrequited, the selfish 
love, and so on. The noblest of all the degrees 
is by far that which bears the inscription "pure." 
It predominates among young girls everywhere, 
and particularly among those from happy homes. 
The pure love is the triumph of the heart over 
all ignoble feelings, for it is unselfish. It is love 
for love's sake alone. — If we are not pessimistic, 
we cannot but believe that a matrimonial union 
between young people is founded upon some- 
thing better than an egotistic calculation. It is 
unnatural with young hearts to unite in wedlock, 
that is intended to last until death separates 
them, without being animated with a deep feel- 
ing for each other. But the strength of this 
feeling has, however, to be measured according 
to the intellectual standpoint of the parties con- 
cerned, according to their mental qualifications, 
the culture of mind and heart. Love amongst 
peasants is not the same as love amongst people 



9 

of society; the romantic and idyllic love that 
may be found with young country people is not 
the kind of love that may be found with the 
young, go-ahead people of large cities. Love 
with individuals of the lower strata of society is 
not the same as that with the higher classes. 
This product of feeling and imagination, as 
some define it, has its limits within the fixed 
periphery where birth, education and habits of 
life have placed its victim. The higher the in- 
tellectual development, the stronger also the 
inherent power of subduing the sensual desire 
existing in all relations of love between man and 
woman; the lower the intellectual development, 
the weaker the power of resistance to sensuality. 
There are people who assert that true love, as 
it is called, can only be found in wedlock, all 
other love before the accomplished marriage 
being untrue. It is not a long while ago that a 
French philosophical physician delivered a lec- 
ture, the essence of which was reproduced in the 
press of all civilized nations. The doctor holds 
that all human beings, himself of course in- 
cluded, are more or less insane, and consequently 
the brain during the time we make love, or 
during the days of engagement, is in a more 
than usually abnormal condition, a disease that, 



10 

however, may be partly remedied in marriage. 
The theory of the mental disease of all humanity 
is not a new one. An old Spanish adage says 
that all men are a little of a poet, a little of a 
doctor, and a little insane. Most people have 
had a smaller or greater dose of this disease, if 
it be one, and all will admit that they never felt 
better or happier than during the days when 
they commenced their courting attempts that 
finally were crowned with success. The peculiar 
condition of a youth smitten with love may be 
of shorter or longer duration, but it is seldom of 
a dangerous nature. It is not until all hope is 
gone that his or her mind may be so clouded 
that a suicide is committed. We read some- 
times in the papers of such results of unrequited 
love, and the coroner's jury will never fail to 
give a verdict in accordance with the facts 
produced, viz.: That the deceased came to his 
death by his own hand in a fit of insanity. 

Without laying any particular stress upon the 
first part of the French doctor's theory, we must 
admit that matrimony is the school in which 
true love must stand its test. No two persons 
know each other until after marriage. During 
the time of engagement they are partly blind to 
their respective faults, or they may conceal these 



11 

faults, or they will not see them. Women par- 
ticularly may live during the engagement in a 
kind of intoxication, in which they never pause 
a moment to reflect. It is not until after wed- 
lock that they form more rational ideas. Men, 
as a rule, are more philosophical, but even philos- 
ophers may for a while live in a clouded atmos- 
phere of love. It is a question whether the wise 
Socrates would have united in marriage with 
Xantippe if he had known her so well as he did 
after their marriage. Socrates ought to be the 
model of most husbands. He knew how to 
make the best of a situation that, according to 
tradition, does not seem to have been enviable. 
Nothing could disturb his equanimity. One 
day, it is told, his lady having given him a ter- 
rible lashing of her tongue, he left the house 
without uttering a word. No sooner had he 
closed the house door than, from her bedroom 
window, she emptied a wash-bowl over his body. 
The cold bath had no effect upon the equa- 
nimity of the wise man. He simply took her 
action as a proof of the fact that there is no 
cause without effect, declaring that rain is a 
natural follower of thunder. 



CHAPTER II. 



Marriage a Practical Affair — Marriage Con- 
tra Divorces — The Marriage Instinct — 
Man Needs a Partner — Marriage a Lot- 
tery — Relative Happiness — The Feeling 
of Responsibility. 

JUST as poets have the privilege of singing 
the praise of love, so the students of polit- 
ical economy and philosophers have taken up 
the question of the marriage institution. The 
evolution of marriage is a study not without 
attractiveness. Marriage has existed at all 
times. It antedates history, and it will, in spite 
of the nihilistic and communistic ideas pertain- 
ing to the union between man and woman, never 
cease to exist, for the simple reason that it has 
its origin in nature. The custom of marriage 
has varied and changed with time, but there has 
always, even amongst barbarian tribes, been 
some rites, and some kind of marriage laws that 
had to be respected. Nowadays a marriage is 
considered a very practical affair. We have 

(12) 



13 

long ago ceased to consider it a divine institu- 
tion, the inviolable laws of which are written in 
heaven. The great masses have no more faith 
in the divinity of such an institution than they 
have in the doctrine of kings' and emperors' 
right to their thrones by the grace of God. 
Revolutions have done away with the former, 
and civil laws with the latter ideas. Our divorce 
courts speak loudly enough of the rights of 
modern society to loosen the bonds of a mar- 
riage; but if we, from the number of yearly 
divorces, would judge of wedlock in general, 
we would do it a great injustice. As all human 
laws, so those pertaining to divorces, are imper- 
fect, and it is no doubt owing to this fact alone 
whence so many aberrations originate. Natur- 
ally the laws are not calculated to produce' 
divorces, the spirit of these having for its object 
the protection of the wronged party. Usually 
pessimists point to the many divorces when 
matrimony is the topic of conversation. It is an 
undeniable fact that divorce suits too often give 
the great public an insight into matrimonial life 
of a very humiliating and degrading character, 
but the pessimists are too inclined to forget that 
it is with the happy marriages as with the best 
women : they are not made the objects of public 



14 

criticism, and the happy marriages are, thank 
God, by far outnumbering the unhappy. Besides, 
the marriage instinct is lodged in every human 
being, and the numbers of those in whom the 
instinct is only weakly developed is fairly com- 
pensated by those who enter three, and not so 
very seldom, four times into marriage, in spite 
of some very sad former experiences. 

Most of us have come across young people 
who are willing to swear that they never will 
raise a family. It is nonsense. The very same 
young man who is determined not to marry, 
may some fine day meet a girl who, with good 
and sound arguments, or with no arguments at 
all, will convince him of the hollowness of his 
determination, and he will not only yield, but be 
anxious to name the day for their wedding. We 
remember a young man who ridiculed a friend 
of his who took out a license. " You will never 
catch me," he said very emphatically, and in 
less than two months he was a married man. 
When reminded of his sarcasm he simply re- 
marked that he was unconscious of the perils, 
and that his girl had not appeared on the scene 
at that time; he was not only cured, he meant, 
but also a good victim for the tutelary genii of 
wedlock. 



15 

It is a law of nature to raise a family, and the 
life of an old bachelor or old maid is not enviable. 
No matter how deeply interested for a while a 
man or woman may feel in the study of a branch 
of science, of art, or any other avocation that 
tends to elevate and enrich the human mind, 
the day is sure to come when he or she will feel 
the emptiness of a solitary life. Man needs a 
partner to share not only his sorrows, but also 
his joys. Against this assertion has often been 
quoted Socrates' answer to the young Athenian 
who asked him whether he should marry or re- 
main single. The reply was not a definite one, 
for Socrates told him that whether he married 
or remained single he would repent it. And 
even if we construe the answer as a choice be- 
tween two evils, the most sensible thing to do is 
to choose the lesser evil, which by all means the 
conjugal union is, provided it is not altogether 
barren of sunshine. 

It is not unusual to compare marriage with a 
lottery, in which some draw a big prize, some a 
small one, some again a very little one, or, 
finally , some a blank. The happiest marriages, 
however, have not always commenced with an 
ardent love, and the most unhappy are not sel- 
dom in an inverse proportion to the imagined 



16 

love from the days of engagement. The fact 
is, that marriage has no room for sentimental 
love. Sentimentality is relieved by more realistic 
views. Nothing being wholly perfect, so happi- 
ness in marriage has its drawbacks. It is a great 
art to know oneself, and it takes sometimes a 
long while before two married persons are per- 
fectly conversant with each other's views. Hap- 
piness is, besides, a very relative notion, just as 
relative as our claims on it. That a certain share 
of the world's goods is a necessary condition for 
a happy marriage is evident. No person in ab- 
solute poverty feels well; love alone will not 
suffice. Abundance, on the other hand, is so far 
from being a guarantee for happy marriages 
that it often is effective in calling forth situa- 
tions that end with a divorce. The happiest 
marriages are undeniably those where both 
parties have a correct understanding of each 
other's shortcomings or faults, and a sufficient 
feeling of humanity and forbearance. These 
are the two factors that constitute the main 
elements in a happy marriage. Our faults, as a 
matter of course, must not degenerate into 
vices ; under that form all happiness is forfeited. 
In reading the reports from our divorce courts, 
we cannot fail to observe that drunkenness and 



17 

unchastity are the two causes most frequently 
pleaded as reasons why a decree should be 
granted. Each of these vices is sufficient to 
make a person unhappy, to say nothing of a 
husband and wife or a whole family. 

Besides the two mentioned there is a third 
factor tending to increase the happiness of 
married life: the feeling of responsibility, and 
particularly so in cases where the union has 
been blessed with children. For each child 
born to the world the responsibility of the 
parents is growing, and it is an old and just 
view that for each duty a child owes to its 
parents, the parents are manifoldly indebted to 
their child, or, in other words, parents have 
greater obligations to fulfill towards their chil- 
dren than children towards their parents. Where 
this sentiment is intense, the marriage is seldom 
a failure. Our children are the centre round 
which all our ideas are revolving. They con- 
stitute our happiness, being the greatest binding 
power between husband and wife. To them is 
transferred the love that is freed from the pas- 
sions of our youth. They furnish value to our 
life; we feel we have something to live for. 

Marriage License Window. 2. 



CHAPTER III. 



Encouraging to Marriage — Nihilistic Views — 
Malthus — Early Marriages — Optimistic 
Views. 

IN the present time, the most critical since the 
fall of man, marriage is a theme more eagerly 
debated than any other. However, it is more 
women's rights in relation to their husbands, 
their position in society, that is forming the 
foundation of the many varied discussions, and 
less the very fact of entering married life. No 
government will to any extent earnestly try to 
prevent the sons or daughters of a country from 
becoming husbands and wives. On the con- 
trary, any government noticing an alarming 
decrease in the number of marriages, will try 
by all conceivable means to encourage the ycuth 
to marry; all pens will be put in activity to 
remedy the alleged evil. And this is naturally 
so, being due to very practical reasons. It is an 
old maxim that one of the main pillars on which 

(18) 



19 

society at large is resting, and without which it 
would go to pieces, is the family. The modern 
communistic ideas have no regard for family 
life, their advocates being fully aware of the 
fact of its tending to conservatism. Most nihil- 
ists are single persons, or, if married, their 
family ties are of a very loose texture. They 
take a consistent view of the order of things in 
opposing the conjugal union, knowing that if a 
general abolition of marriage were possible they 
would easily carry their point, viz. : the destruc- 
tion of one of the main factors of a well-regu- 
lated society. Those in the unmarried state 
will commit many sexual offenses that are liable 
to be dangerous and a burden to charitable insti- 
tutions. As to the old European societies, the 
existence of the great military armies would be 
sadly threatened if young people should give up 
the idea of marriage. 

With a mere politico-economical object in 
view, the famous English philosopher Malthus 
wrote his "Essay on Population." As a good, 
religious man he naturally could not make any 
attack on the marriage institution, but he 
opposes early marriages as one of the pro- 
moters of over-population. Malthus holds that 
a population of a civilized world should be in 



20 

proportion to the means of existence, (not to 
exceed the supply of food). He naturally cast 
his eyes upon America, admitting that we for a 
long while yet are justified in entering into early 
marriages, recommending, however, the work- 
ing classes all over the world to regulate the 
size of their families by using moral restraint, 
condemning all other preventatives as vice. It 
is a matter of fact that the adherents of Malthus* 
theories are becoming less numerous. It is get- 
ting more and more evident that the world is 
not suffering from over-population, the means of 
subsistence being in abundance. We are suffer- 
ing from over-production, so at least we are told 
by the practical student of labor questions. 
Well, then, it is not likely that the young men 
and women of Chicago have any particular 
knowledge of Malthus' theories, and, even if 
they had, it does not stand to reason to believe 
that they would take his theories to heart. 
There is a tendency with the native-born popu- 
lation to contract too early marriages, very often 
both the contracting parties being so surpris- 
ingly young that we, for the sake of their 
own interest, may wish them to postpone the 
wedding a couple of years. What experience 
can a young man of eighteen or twenty be 



21 

harboring, and what knowledge has a girl of 
sixteen or seventeen of housekeeping or of the 
duties of a mother? And at these ages many 
marriages are contracted in Cook county. 

As to the foreign-born element, a study of 
the marriage license list will reveal the fact that 
they, as a rule, follow the practice of the coun- 
tries whence they emigrated. In the northern 
and eastern parts of Europe the marriage age 
varies between twenty-five and thirty for men, 
and between twenty and twenty-five for women. 
These ages are particularly adaptable to the 
working classes in Europe, where the fight for 
a living is by far harden than in America. 
Besides, the military service is a great impedi- 
ment to conjugal inclinations in most parts of 
Europe. What newry-married man would like 
to leave his young wife and, perhaps, children, 
to put on the military uniform? If we had a 
compulsory military service in America, there 
is no doubt but that most young men would 
postpone their wedding till said service was 
over. In southern Europe, and in the oriental 
countries, we find things somewhat otherwise, 
but the bloom of the women in these regions 
falls in the ages between thirteen and eighteen. 



22 

It is the fear of an increasing pauperism, as in 
the old societies, that the pessimists of America 
have in view when they oppose early marriages, 
and while there is a good reason to stop and 
reflect over the causes of an increasing poverty 
in any community at any given time, yet nobody 
can with any certainty assert that the early 
marriages contracted at twenty-two or twenty- 
four for the man, and between eighteen and 
twenty-one for the girl, are the reasons why our 
charity institutions are in a crowded condition, 
at least at a certain season of the year. It is to 
a great extent the paupers from Europe that fill 
these institutions, and the optimists are undoubt- 
edly right when they reason and argue the ques- 
tion of marriage in about the following way : 

America in general, and Chicago in particu- 
lar, is greatly indebted to Europe for the many 
talented and clever laborers it has sent to the 
United States. These men have faithfully con- 
tributed their share to justify the proverbial 
saying that Chicago is the wonder city of the 
nineteenth century, and we are not "only in- 
debted to Europe for dancing and music teach- 
ers," as Beecher jokingly remarked in the course 
of a lecture on free-trade; but as a link in the 
development of the whole Union we need a 



23 

native-born population, knowing of no other 
fatherland, loving America, its language, its 
flag, its institutions. We constitute an artificial 
population, and, loyal and law-abiding as are the 
masses of our people, it naturally lives on the 
memories from the old countries. And for a 
person born, brought up, and educated in one of 
the European countries, it is no easy matter to 
get rid of these memories, for they cling to the 
human mind, and they are furthermore refreshed 
through the correspondence between relatives 
and friends. And the preserving of the memo- 
ries is furthermore strengthened through the 
press in the different languages. The Irish have 
their special organs for Irish national affairs; 
the Germans, the Scandinavians, the Poles, the 
Bohemians, and the French each have their own 
journals, appealing at given times to the national 
feelings. Monuments are erected in honor of 
European poets and scientists, and public halls 
are adorned with the colors of foreign nations. 
Public schools are called after European savants, 
poets and statesmen, and the population, accord- 
ing to their nationalities, move together in dif- 
ferent sections of the city. We have Irish wards 
and German wards ; we know that the densely 
populated Swedish wards are to be found on the 



24 

North Side; that Norwegians and Danes pre- 
dominate in the northwestern part of the city; 
that Poles are most numerous in the Fourteenth 
ward, and the Italians are crowded together in 
some of the wards on the South Side. And as 
if all that were not sufficient for keeping up the 
memories of old Europe, politics comes in with 
its complementing adjectives. Germans are re- 
minded of their good and sober judgment, 
their indisputable ability; Scandinavians get 
their praise for their conservative perseverance 
and faithfulness; the Irish national strings are 
played on, and the sons of Poland get their 
political hymn. That under such circumstances 
the masses of foreign-born citizens find a rich 
nourishment for national pride, is quite natural, 
but it is evident that, while all this in itself is 
harmless, it does not serve as a promoter of the 
unity and harmony which is the main condition 
for solidarity with the native-born population. 

Adopted children are not the same as children 
of our own flesh and blood. Chicago needs no 
longer an artificial population; it can grow 
strong and healthy in a natural way. Let the 
young, not too young, people engage in mar- 
riage, and let the children be the beneficiaries 
of the greatest fundamental institution of the 



25 

United States: the common school. Children 
in the first generation of an emigrated popula- 
tion, living with their thoughts in the old socie- 
ties, may have a little difficulty in emancipating 
themselves from old traditions, but the next 
generation will belong to America, helping to 
strengthen the work of unity that does not 
kneel to foreign gods, — a generation that loves 
America for its own sake. 



CHAPTER IV. 



Peculiarities of Languages — Difficulties — 
Beautiful Peculiarities — A Graceful Lan- 
guage — A Matter-of-Fact Language — The 
Language of Abstract Philosophy — A Me- 
lodious Language. 

ANY person who for a long space of time, 
day after day, has had an opportunity to 
hear people of varied descents talk English, 
need not absolutely possess a linguistic talent to 
discover, through the pronunciations, which 
nationality they belong to. It is but exception- 
ally that a foreign-born person acquires a correct 
pronunciation, unless he arrived here at a very 
young age and frequented our schools. He who 
has got his school education in one of the old 
non-English speaking countries of Europe will, 
in most cases, betray his foreign descent. This 
postulate needs no strong argument to be under- 
stood. It is naturally so, and is applicable to 
all who have to speak a language acquired 
artificially; that is, a language that is not the 
mother tongue. 

(36) 



27 

The intelligent student of a foreign language 
may acquire a full knowledge of its idioms and 
finesses; he may even be better versed in the 
history and literature of the language than the 
majority of those who have been born with the 
language at the end of their tongues. We have 
a good example of the truth of this assertion in 
the famous naturalized political critic of German 
parentage. He commands the English language 
to perfection, and his logical eloquence after 
classic patterns never trespasses against the rules 
of English syntax, but his pronunciation will 
nevertheless betray his German birth. It is, 
besides, an acknowledged fact that he who has 
studied several languages will with greater diffi- 
culty catch the right pronunciation of a foreign 
language than the illiterate person who never 
made a study of even his mother language. The 
cultivated man may, if sufficient time is allowed, 
compose a well-formed English essay in such a 
manner that even the keenest critic cannot dis- 
cover his foreign descent, but if he should under- 
take to read it before an audience of native-born 
Americans, his hearers would most likely not be 
long in discovering that he was not one of their 
own. 



28 

Another hindrance to the more cultivated 
person is the mere common daily language, the 
knowledge of which he has greater difficulty in 
mastering than the illiterate person. Usually 
he is less practical and more critical. He is 
thinking in his own language and is transferring 
his thoughts into the foreign language. To the 
illiterate or less mentally developed, the common 
talk comes much easier. It is with him as it is 
with children, the sound of the words is the 
essential key to the understanding of each other. 
Children of various foreign descents have usually 
no great trouble in understanding each other's 
language, their ideas moving within a rather 
limited circle. The horizon of the thoughts of 
the illiterate man or woman not lying in the 
extreme periphery, they need not many words 
to express their ideas in their own language; a 
few hundred words will suffice, and through a 
little exercise, perseverance, and diligence they 
will soon acquire that much knowledge of the 
number of words of a foreign language that is 
necessary to make themselves understood. The 
greatest difficulty, however, is to understand 
what is told them, and as to that point they 
share a common fate with all beginners in a 
foreign language- Hundreds of people who 



29 

have diligently studied the French language, 
sometimes for years, and imagine that the) 7 have 
learned it to perfection, find themselves not a 
little puzzled when they arrive in Paris, not be- 
cause they cannot question intelligently, but be- 
cause they cannot understand the questions put 
to them by a native-born Parisian. If a person 
were able to forget his mother language, any 
obstruction to the acquirement of a foreign lan- 
guage would immediately disappear, but this is 
an impossibility, growing greater in proportion 
to the education of the individual. The mother 
tongue cuts a considerable figure in the feeling 
generally knov/n and denominated patriotism, 
and from his standpoint the German chancellor 
is therefore acting very wisely in trying to ex- 
tirpate the original languages of the provinces 
conquered by the empire during the last two 
decades. The task is not an easy one, especially 
in regard to languages embracing a great na- 
tional literature; but still they will have to sur- 
render in the course of time. In Poland the 
work of destruction is rapidly progressing, 
and vainly the Polish deputies in the Ger- 
man Reichstag voice the sentiment of their 
protesting countrymen. In the Danish northern 
part of Schleswig the present generation is still 



30 

familiar with the language of their ancestors; 
but German having been introduced in the 
schools as compulsive, the next generation will 
know little or nothing of the Danish language, 
if quite unforeseen circumstances should not re- 
store the lost province to Denmark. 

It is wholly in conformity with the national 
feeling that every nation finds its language so 
exceedingly handsome, if not the handsomest of 
all languages. The truth is, however, that any 
language spoken by cultivated people has its 
beautiful peculiarities, to which educated ladies 
in particular will do justice. When the famous 
French actress Rachel recited the Marseillaise, 
the language in her mouth sounded as the 
sweetest music ; she electrified her audience, not 
only by her correct pronunciation, but also by 
her perfect interpretation and understanding of 
the spirit of the song. Rachel could not sing, 
and yet she was a refined interpreter of songs. 
But when we here in Chicago sometimes listen 
to the same national hymn sung by a street 
singer, accompanied by the organ-grinder, we 
fail to discover the euphony and elegance of the 
French language. 

Only he whose ears are closed to the music 
of language will miss the euphonies of English 



31 

spoken by Americans of intellect and culture. 
It is generally conceded that the English lan- 
guage, in regard to pronunciation, is the hardest 
of all modern languages to learn. It takes con- 
siderable drilling and permanent vigilance for a 
foreign-born person approximately to reach a 
tolerable pronunciation. To most foreigners it 
is easy enough to understand, the periods being 
short, the grammar not very intricate, and the 
words with only one gender. It is considered 
a practical matter-of-fact language, a fact 
that caused the aristocracy and universities of 
Europe, outside of the English speaking nations, 
for many yeats to look down upon it as vulgar, 
though well adapted to commercial use, not- 
withstanding Shakespeare, Byron, and the many 
other heroes of English literature. But tempora, 
mutantur! Since the downfall of the French 
empire the English language is gaining ground 
everywhere, and the European student is no 
longer satisfied with reading translations, some- 
times very bad ones, of Stuart Mill, Darwin, 
Tyndall, or Spencer. 

The German language, embracing so many 
dialects, has not the many insinuating and sono- 
rous sounds as the French or other Roman lan- 
guages, but it is what the Germans themselves 



32 

denominate " schwungvoll." Perhaps there is 
not a language more fit to give expression to 
abstract ideas than German. It is not what we 
generally call a graceful language, and yet the 
famous Heine was a lyric, moulding the lan- 
guage in such graceful expression, that perhaps 
no other poet of any other period, before or 
after him, has been able to do. Heine's verses, 
recited by a cultivated lady, lends to the lan- 
guage a music as graceful as one of Haydn's 
symphonies. 

Of the Scandinavian languages, the Swedish 
unconditionally holds, in regard to euphony, the 
first rank. It is a melodious language, and, like 
Italian, is particularly suited as a text for music. 
The Norwegian language has also its melodious 
scale, but is harder, while Danish is soft and par- 
ticularly suitable for lyric and erotic poetry. 
And who will doubt but the Slavonic languages, 
with their many soft consonants, have eupho- 
nies, when spoken by cultivated people. We 
may prefer one language to another, just be- 
cause our taste and ear has been educated to 
certain sounds, for just as what is seen is de- 
pendent on the eye that sees, so sound, or what 
is heard, is dependent on the ear that hears. 



CHAPTER V 



Some American Characteristics — The Busy 
American — The Sedate American — Irish 
Americans. 

THE linguistic peculiarities, however, are not 
the only ones that distinguish the American- 
born from the emigrated population. The 
consciousness of having been born and educated 
under free institutions, where every individual 
is unchecked by conventional formalities, and 
where the chances for economical progress are 
better than in any of the old societies, and where 
hope never dies, creates a self-independence 
which even evinces itself in walk and manners. 
A certain uniformity runs through the youth of 
America, which even reveals itself in their hand- 
writing. In matters pertaining to taste, all dis- 
cussion is out of place, but the round and 
symmetrical writing, as taught in our public 
schools, would stand a good chance of winning 
the good taste to its side in a general competi- 

(33) 
Marriage License Window. 3. 



34 

tion. It is not alone the young merchant or the 
bank clerk who possesses the manual dexterity; 
the rule can be applied just as well to the native- 
born mechanic. The European skillful laborer^ 
superior to his American colleague in many 
very essential points, wields a rather heavy pen. 
A reason for this undeniable fact, besides a de- 
fective teaching, is the use of machinery in 
Europe not being so general, the hand will 
naturally be more hardened and less fit for so 
light a tool as a pen. 

Much has been written on the characteristics 
of the Americans. Many Europeans who have 
traveled but a fortnight in this country send 
volumes of correspondence to their newspapers 
in Europe. All people in the old country have 
formed an idea of the outward appearance of 
the thorough typical American from the car- 
toons of "Uncle Sam," as depicted in our semi- 
comical periodicals. We all know this picture 
of the tall, slim, but wiry man, with the marked 
features, the pointed nose, and characteristic 
chin beard. The expression of his eye is good- 
natured, and at the same time keen. "Uncle 
Sam" is invariably portrayed as a man well ad- 
vanced in years. If we could see him twenty- 
five years younger, we would more easily 



35 

discover in his features those characteristics that 
have made him so famous — energy and perse- 
verance. He never gives up; if he does not 
succeed the first or second time, he tries and 
tries again. 

Nearly all writers on American topics agree 
upon one common feature of the present genera- 
tion, namely, restlessness. Particularly among 
the young mercantile classes we find people who 
always are in a hurry, always busy. A mar- 
riage license clerk of a little experience will 
never fail to recognize such a typical young 
American when he is confronting him at the 
window. Although the printed letters on the 
top of the window are very distinct, he never 
sees them, but asks if this is the place where he 
can get a license. "What are the necessary 
steps to be taken," he will ask, "and how long 
does it take to make it out? I am in a hurry," 
at the same time pulling out his watch to see 
how much time he can spare. On learning that 
the whole transaction can be done in less than 
five minutes he will ask to be waited on "right 
away." An affidavit form is handed him, and 
he is told to sign his first and last name in full. 
The affidavit reads: 



36 

"(Samuel A. Jones), of Chicago, County of Cook, 
State of Illinois, being duly sworn, deposes and says that 
he is (23) years of age, and that (Sarah Smith), of 
Chicago, County of Cook, and State of Illinois, is (20), 
and that both are single and unmarried, and may law- 
fully contract and be joined in marriage." 

Mr. Jones takes a pen and signs his name, 
but, although he has been asked to sign it in. 
full, he only puts down the initials of the given 
names. With a nervous jerk he tears off the 
affidavit blank, making another attempt to prop- 
erly sign his name. This time he abbreviates 
his given name, but, discovering it, he tears off 
the second blank, muttering an excuse, and ex- 
plaining that he is a business man, and that he 
has not signed his full name for the last ten 
years. His third attempt is a successful one ; he 
has managed to sign his name in its full length 
— Samuel Abram Jones. While answering the 
few questions in regard to his 1 residence, his 
lady's name and her age, the young man has 
first put his hands together, and keeps them in 
"position," a habit inherited from his school- 
days, and in the next moment he lets his fingers 
go down in his vest pocket, from whence he 
draws a bill, which he hands over to the clerk, 
who informs him that the cashier at the next 
corner takes the money. The young man, mak- 



37 

ing a move in that direction, is told that he has 
to wait until his license is made out. Involun- 
tarily he stretches out his hand to get hold of 
the document, but simultaneously he is asked to 
take off his hat and lift up his right hand to 
be sworn. Having obeyed the order, swearing 
to the best of his knowledge that he told the 
truth, he steps up to the cashier's window, 
whence the sealed license is delivered, hands in 
a five dollar bill, but forgets to take the change. 
Upon being hastily called back he thanks the 
cashier politely, and is just half way out of the 
office when the attendant watchman reminds 
him of a parcel he left at the marriage license 
desk. Finally he leaves the office in a great 
hurry, but not until he very politely has thanked 
every one for the trouble he has made, remark- 
ing that he never transacted that kind of busi- 
ness before. It happened once that a young 
man — let us call him Smith — signed the 
affiadvit Smith & Co. It was the force of 
habit that made him sign the firm's name. He 
laughed heartily when the mistake was discov- 
ered, and remarked that he had no partners in 
that business. Sometimes such a young man 
has not fixed the day for his wedding; he will 
marry when he gets time. 



38 

The thirty-year old Mr. Jones is quite a 
different man. He is also a business man, and 
he was thinking of nothing else but business 
until he accumulated that much of worldly 
goods necessary, according to his notions, to a 
comfortable life with his coming wife, and per- 
haps children. Quietly and phlegmatically he 
walks up to the marriage license window, noth- 
ing disturbing his ease. He need not ask " if 
this is the place where a license can be ob- 
tained? " because he knows it. "Well, sir," he 
may commence his greeting to the clerk, " I 
suppose I will need your service for a little 
while." An affidavit is handed him, and quickly 
he will glance over the printed slip before he 
signs it, for, as a business man, he never puts 
his name to any paper before knowing its con- 
tents. While the clerk is making out the license 
he will turn the conversation on topics pertain- 
ing to the issue of licenses. " The position you 
hold must be quite interesting; you see so many 
different people. Still, I suppose in the long- 
run a person will be tired of it; you do not 
notice any variation. How many of these 
'things' do you issue a year? Ten thousand, 
you say? That makes fifteen thousand dollars 
a year. That is a great deal of money; you 



39 

are certainly not a retailer." Such a Mr. Jones 
does not produce his money from his pocket 
until the last moment, and he does not forget to 
get his change back on a five dollar bill. He 
looks calmly on all relations of life, and still he 
may be a warm-hearted gentleman. He always 
takes his time at the dinner table, and he does 
not swallow his meals with the aid of large 
quantities of ice water; he does not suffer from 
dyspepsia. 

It is quite general and very natural that 3 7 oung 
people being on the threshold of matrimonial life 
should be in good humor. And particularly is 
this the case with young Americans of Irish 
descent. The Irish- American candidate for mat- 
rimonial snares frequently makes his appearance 
at the window in company with two or more of 
his friends. One of these will introduce the mar- 
riageable young man as a victim, and while the 
"victim " has not been given a chance to say a 
word, another friend will remind him of the fool- 
ishness of committing such a rash act. Before 
the young man is allowed to sign his name, one 
of his friends may give him the last warning, in 
short but very pathetic expressions, or he may 
call his attention to the fact that a stroke of a 
pen has cost thousands of people their "per- 



40 

sonal liberty." And while the "victim" is 
signing his name the friends may tease him, 
expressing the hope that he is not signing his 
death-warrant without having taken such a step 
under due consideration. Meanwhile the clerk 
is encouraging the applicant, assuring him that 
to marry is the most sensible thing a young man 
can do in this country, providing he secures a 
good helpmate. Still the friends will jokingly 
protest. "I understand that you, gentlemen, are 
not married," remarks the clerk. "Certainly 
we are, and God forbid that we should do it over 
again!" "So you are not happy?" "Happy! 
that is what we are, and that is just the reason 
why we do not wish to try it over again." 
Sometimes the candidate himself, or his friends, 
may invite the clerk out to go round the corner 
and "take something." The invitation not being 
heeded, he is presented with cigars, which al- 
ways are accepted, whether the clerk is a 
smoker or not. 

It is a very common thing all over the world 
that young men spend the last day of their 
single state in company with their most intimate 
friends. Parties are sometimes arranged at the 
expense of the bachelor, and the symposiums 
are calculated " for gentlemen only." The com- 



41 

ing husband has to run the gauntlet, reminis- 
cences of his bachelor life are refreshed, and the 
last cup is dedicated to the groom, his bride, 
and his possible numerous offspring. It is a 
farewell party sometimes in the strictest sense 
of the word, for when a man gets married he 
usually will lose most of his former friends, al- 
though not necessarily their friendship. It is 
naturally so. He cannot, as formerly, share in 
the escapades of youth, and, besides, many of 
his former friends will do just as he did, — they 
will marry when their turn comes, and drift into 
conservatism, perhaps joining a club or a society 
for mutual life insurance. 



CHAPTER VI. 



Patrick — His Devotion to His Church — His 
Hope of Liberation. 

THE difference between the Irish- Americans 
and the emigrated Irish is so great and 
apparent that nobody can fail to discover 
it. Judging the whole nation, it must be admit- 
ted that, naturally, it is unusually clever and 
bright, and its' descendants of American birth 
with American education constitute some of the 
best ingredients of the American nation. The 
masses of naturalized Irishmen belong to the 
working classes. They are laborers in the strict- 
est sense of the word. As a rule, the proverbial 
Patrick will approach the license desk in a very 
modest way. He is not very talkative, although 
he never is at a loss for an answer that may 
sometimes be very witty and to the point. In 
most instances he can write his name plainly 
and correctly, and if he cannot he feels a little 

(43) 



43 

bashful, and will explain how his school educa- 
tion has been terribly neglected. Patrick can, 
however, also resort to a little innocent trick to 
conceal his lack of knowledge in the art of 
writing. He may appear with his right hand 
wrapped up in a bandage, which makes it im- 
possible for him to take a pen in his hand, but 
no sooner has he left the office than the bandage 
may disappear in the hallway. He may also 
plead nervousness, or he may bluntly explain 
that he is no writer or no scholar. In such cases 
the clerk will sign the name, the applicant mak- 
ing his cross or mark. His own and his girl's 
name the Irish laboror is nearly always so fa- 
miliar with that he can spell them fluently. The 
correct spelling of names by persons who can 
not sign them has often appeared as a result of 
a long preparatory exercise. Maybe that such 
a man at least one month before he takes out 
his license, daily and perhaps in union with his 
sweet-heart, has been practicing in spelling the 
names. 

It will also happen that he can only sign the 
initials of his given names, and his full family 
name, declaring it impossible to write his first 
name in full. It is customary to judge the edu- 
cational standpoint of the lower or illiterate 



44 

classes of any nation by the percentage of its 
reading and writing individuals. If such a 
standard is justifiable the Irish are not far be- 
hind any other nationality, while they are ahead 
of some of the southern European countries, of 
the Slavonic nationalities and of the illiterate 
French Canadians, whose notions of the mere 
rudimentaries of education are very weakly 
developed. 

Very attentively our friend will listen to the 
administering of the oath, in repeating the 
words for himself his lips will move until he 
finally may very emphatically repeat in a loud 
voice: So help me God! Some amongst them, 
looking very solemn, will sensitively explain 
that they had only sworn to the best of their 
knowledge. Generally the Irish workingman ? is 
religious; he holds on to the teachings of his 
childhood; the Church is the asylum to which 
he resorts to find consolation for the adversities 
of life. And he feels happy in his belief just 
because he never doubted the truth of the 
church dogmas. To his spiritual adviser he 
confides himself unconditionally, being perfectly 
convinced of not misplacing his confidence, for, 
as a matter of course, the relation between the 
priest and his parish children is of a very inti- 



45 

mate nature. The instance is an exceptional 
one where an Irish laborer is married by a civil 
authority. He must have the blessings of the 
Church to an act binding him for life to a 
woman, for his Church does not recognize legal 
divorces, holding that marriage is a sacrament 
and allowing, even in the extreme case of breach 
of the marriage vow, nothing beyond separa- 
tion, but under no circumstances will it allow 
divorced men or women to re-marry. It holds 
the same view as in its earliest days; "As you 
make your connubial bed, you shall lie forever- 
more." In common with the religious masses 
of other denominations, the religious faith of the 
Irish is not a result of a conviction achieved by 
thoughtful study; his faith is an inheritance, and 
he guards it the more carefully as he knows 
that attempts have been made to rob him of it. 
England's attempt to over-throw Catholicism in 
Ireland was not due to any honest-felt care for 
the salvation of Irish souls, but to political rea- 
sons. Wherever State and Church are united 
unfree religious relations are the result. The 
State will be paramount to the Church, and the 
servants of the Church will be dependent on the 
politics of the State. In its further develop- 
ment this will lead to political bondage by 



46 

wnich in the long run nothing good can be 
accomplished for a people in whom the feeling 
of independence is not utterly lost. The oppo- 
nents of Catholicism usually aver that this 
form of Christianity leads to fanaticism and be- 
gets ignorance ; but they forget mentioning that, 
if this be the case, it only applies to those coun- 
tries where Catholicism is elevated to a state 
religion. The Irish Catholics of America are 
as a whole not fanatics; if faithful believers 
they undeniably have the conviction that their 
faith will absolutely lead to heaven, but they 
do not exclude the possibility of the route being 
open to somebody else. The intercourse with 
dissenters or with people of widely different 
views on religious topics, is liberalizing in its 
effects on spiritual matters, and the steady ex- 
pressions of the American press against intoler- 
ant religious views are powerfully instrumental 
in dissipating the remnants of hatred which 
religious blindness has begotten, and which once 
lead to cruelties justly considered as the darkest 
spots in the history of mankind. 

A certain melancholy expression of the eyes 
and a somewhat sombre hue of resignation is 
often noticeable among peasant farmers of Ire- 
land. Perhaps this may be accounted for 



47 

through the fact that this class has been ex- 
posed to sufferings under the rule of landlord- 
ism. It is a generally conceded fact, and fpr 
that matter a very natural thing, that the fate 
of a people does not pass over the individuals 
without leaving some traces, some well defined 
and discernable marks. The fate of Ireland has 
been hard, and perhaps with the exception of 
that of Poland, the hardest of all nations, and 
particularly the peasant farmers have for gen- 
erations been suffering under the yoke of the 
English lords. 

At the hands of a proportionally few persons, 
the peasantry has been suffering wants and 
needs; its work has been a fight for the most 
abject existence. Carried on for many years, 
such struggles will necessarily leave their traces 
in the features and expression of the counte- 
nances. The stern faces, however, while indi- 
cating sorrow and hatred, never assume the 
character of despair. Even the most suppressed 
of the Irish people have never doubted but that 
the day of liberation must come. The}^ are 
as firmly convinced of that as they are that the 
sun will rise to-morrow. 

It is amusing sometimes to listen to the Irish- 
man well advanced in years when he declares 



48 

his intention to become a citizen of the United 
States. It is as if he felt relieved by severing 
his political connection with the English gov- 
ernment, and all his hatred is concentrated in 
the person of the queen. A rather young, very 
intelligent and well-read man, who took out his 
license and intention paper at the same time, 
gave utterance to his feelings in about the fol- 
lowing strain: 

"It has been predicted that the day of self- 
government for Ireland will never come to pass 
until much blood has flowed. We men of the 
Celtic race have no particular taste for bloody 
revolutions, our thoughts revolt against the 
scenes depicted in the French Revolution and 
particularly during the days of terror, when 
not only men, but women and children, were 
murdered at the order of some few fanatical 
demagogues. But revolutions may, in spite of 
all that, be very healthy in regard to their final 
results. Critics of our days are reconciled to 
the great French Revolution that compelled 
emperors and kings to make some concessions 
to the people they ruled over. With the excep- 
tion of the gigantic barbarian colos, called 
Russia, absolutism gave way to constitutional 
forms of government. A revolution is pending 



49 

in Ireland and we all wish and hope for a blood- 
less one, but if it cannot be helped we shall 
have to sacrifice a little blood." 

The young man was in company with a friend 
of the same race, who warned him of the revo- 
lution he was undergoing in taking out a license 
to get married, predicting that his wife would 
dictate the conditions of peace, he making all 
the concessions. The views expressed by the 
young man are held in common with thousands 
of his countrymen whose ardent natures would 
readily respond to a call to arms to free "Old 
Erin," but the more conservative portion of his 
race, knowing the hopelessness at the present 
time of engaging in a struggle by force with 
their powerful neighbor, place their trust in the 
parliamentary fight under the leadership of the 
gallant Parnell. 



Marriage License Window. 4. 



CHAPTER VII. 



Stern Faces — Orthodox Poles — Free-thinking- 
Bohemians — German Profundity — Do you 
Speak German? — Philosophical Disposi- 
tions — Socialism — Sociability. 

WHILE the future of Ireland, in spite of the 
experienced defeats, must be judged 
bright, the fate of Poland is settled for- 
ever. Unhappy Poland, how you have suffered! 
And your tragical fate does not become smaller 
because you may have had your share in pre- 
cipitating your own sad lot. There was a time 
when every liberty, loving young man was in- 
fatuated with enthusiasm at the idea of a for- 
tunate result of the Polish insurrections, hoping, 
as natural with young people, that so much 
courage and fight for liberty could not possibly 
be without reward. Hope was kept up for a 
long while, and in spite of very sad and crush- 
ing defeats, the steady refrain was: "Noch ist 
Polen nicht verloren." (Poland is not yet lost.) 

(50) 



51 

Yet the fight against absolute hopelessness will 
in the length of time have a blunting effect, and 
nowadays the young men outside of Poland, 
who voluntarily would join an army for the 
lost cause, could easily be counted. ■ Not even 
in Poland is entertained any earnest hope of 
rising from the political degradation, and the 
many emigrants of high rank and culture who 
formerly were agitating the cause of their un- 
happy country have ceased their loud griev- 
ances and their issuing of proclamations. 

While we may notice the melancholy expres- 
sion with the Irish, we will most invariably 
observe a certain cold and stern expression in 
Polish features, attributable to national suppres- 
sion and degradation. Not even on that stage 
of life which by most people is considered the 
happiest, the immediate time before the wed- 
ding, the feeblest sign of joy can be observed 
in the countenance of the groom. It is as if 
the smile was banished forever. 

The peculiarities of a people at a given time 
are considered the results of the fates and con- 
ditions of many former generations. A people, 
like the Polish, for centuries fighting for liberty, 
knowing the fight to be against a desperate 
hope, can not produce delightful faces. Amongst 



52 

the enlightened and intelligent classes, the fight 
has been productive of a certain irritability of 
which many a Polish parliament has rendered 
a striking picture, while the effect on the masses 
has been of a dulling character. The Polish 
population of Chicago belongs for the greater 
part to the laboring classes. Naturally they 
have a strong feeling for the place in which 
they were born and spent their youth, but in a 
certain sense their national feeling is less devel- 
oped. If questioned where they were born, 
they will most frequently answer: "Prussia," 
for it is essentially German Poles we have to 
deal with here. And in regard to language 
most of them will get along nicely with Ger- 
man, although that language has no similarity 
whatsoever with Polish. Amongst themselves 
they prefer talking their mother tongue, but 
the fact that they understand and can make 
themselves understood in the other language is 
an incontrovertible proof of how much work 
the German government has spent on natural- 
izing the population. That it finally will suc- 
ceed in destroying the Polish language seems 
but little doubtful, although the language is the 
last that dies in a nation. 

While the national feeling of pride is weak- 



53 

ened from very natural reasons, the orthodox 
Catholicism has in return seized the population 
the much stronger. It is a well known fact 
that the loss of one of the senses developes one 
of the other in a very high degree. He who 
has been deprived of his sight has usually a 
strongly developed hearing, and he who is deaf 
has a sharp and keen sight. It seems as if the 
weakened national pride amongst the Poles 
has surrendered to a strict adherence to ortho- 
dox Catholicism. It is a daily occurrence 
that a Pole, accosting the clerk in German and 
expressing his wish to become a naturalized 
citizen, when questioned as to what nationality 
he belongs will answer: "I am a Catholic." 
There are few free-thinkers amongst the Poles 
and if there be any they are remarkably well 
concealed. It is a rare exception when one of 
them is married by a civil authority. A mar- 
riage without the sanction of the Church they 
consider a loose union. Neither men or women 
choose their companion for life outside their 
own nationality. They practice a strict econ- 
omy and in a suit of unfashionable style and 
indefinite colors, we will often find a well-to-do 
citizen, whose ambition and pride it is to show 
his tax -book. 



54 

The Bohemian who, like the Pole, belongs to 
the Slavonic race, and who, among other com- 
mon features, has that of the similarity of 
language, otherwise forms a contrast to him. 
Judging from those Bohemians who come in 
contact with the marriage license clerk, there 
must be a great many free-thinkers amongst 
them. Although born Catholics those residing 
here seem more and more emancipating them- 
selves from the faith of their fathers. They 
are greatly patronizing a judge of their own 
nationality, a statement that can easily be cor 
roborated by the public marriage records, 01 
they are married by another of their country- 
men acting in the double function of an editor 
and minister of the church for free-thinkers. 
They have systematized their free-thinking. 
They have organized as free-thinkers without 
any occult intention, and while the Church may 
look upon this systematic infidelity with sor- 
row, yet it has to deal with or to fight an open 
enemy frankly admitting that it has cut loose 
from traditional dogmas. It goes without say- 
ing that the number of Bohemian weddings 
solemnized outside the Church is proportionally 
greater than are the civil weddings of any 
other nationalities in Chicago. Why this is 



55 

so, whether modern ideas of civilization have 
taken hold of the masses, or antiquated ideas of 
religious problems have lost their grasp on 
them so that a tide of religious indifference has 
set in, is out of place here for discussion. The 
majority may, for all that, be religious people 
according to their own notions, thinking for 
themselves just as did their famous country- 
man, John Huss, who died in the flames as a 

heretic. 

When a young man strides up to the license 
window and, after having searched his coat 
pocket, produces a double set of certificates of 
births, certificates of vaccination, certificates of 
confirmation, and sometimes a certificate of his 
•discharge from the army, there is never a doubt 
as to his nationality — he is a German. In his 
native country he always had to substantiate 
his identity on all occasions. He comes from 
a military country, where discipline is a law 
strictly adhered to, and where any laxity of 
duty is punished accordingly. As the young 
man perhaps for the first time since his arrival 
in this country finds himself in a public office, 
it is quite natural that he should prepare him- 
self for any emergency. He is sometimes 
astonished to learn that the clerk does not care 



56 

to examine his certificates, and that he can get 
married in Chicago without being vaccinated. 
The Germans are a people of great pro- 
fundity; they have grown famous for their 
going into details. Exactness is one of their 
characteristics, and while to non-Germans it 
may seem pedantic that such a rigorous exact- 
ness should be observed, yet the world at large 
owes a good deal to this specific German quali- 
fication. Their painstaking diligence and pro- 
found ability has been instrumental in enriching 
science in all its branches. The observance of 
details is in close relation with the tendency 
to systematize all that is possible to put into 
system. Adding hereto that Germany is the 
greatest military power on the European con- 
tinent, training its young men under a strict 
discipline, and that every German is conscious 
of belonging to a great and influential power, 
and it will easily be understood that, notwith- 
standing his loyalty as an American citizen, he 
has some difficulty in giving up his views and 
ideas, continuing in all his bearings to be a 
German until he dies. They are slow in re- 
nouncing their allegiance to the emperor, in 
hundreds of instances not doing so until many 
years after their arrival here. 



57 

Astonishing is the perseverance with which 
they adhere to their mother-tongue. " Sprechen 
Sie Deutsch?" (Do you speak German?) is a 
question asked many times a day of the offici- 
ating license clerk. Of course he speaks Ger- 
man, and there is hardly any public office in 
Chicago or elsewhere in the Union directly 
transacting with the people without somebody 
in the office understanding that language; as in 
most of the European countries, it has here 
paved its way to the schools. We can hear it 
in hundreds of houses from garret to cellar, in 
the cars and in our political meetings. German 
placards informing property-holders where to 
pay their taxes are posted in public offices. A 
great number of American business men speak 
German rather fluently, and while rich fathers 
send their daughters and wives to Paris for the 
sake of enjoyment, their sons are sent to Ger- 
man universities or gymnasiums whence they 
return with an increased linguistic knowledge. 
Under such circumstances it is not to be won- 
dered at that the national pride is so deeply 
rooted in the Germans of Chicago or elsewhere. 
And even if the workingman amongst them 
have a feeling of hatred to Bismarck, in whom 
they see the incarnation of tyrannical might, 



58 

yet they admire him for the glory he has cast 
over the German empire, ranked as one of the 
first, if not the supreme power in the European 
concert. 

The German people are of an indisputably 
philosophical disposition. A slight acquaintance 
with their literature will soon establish the 
conviction that speculative philosophy has more 
cultivators amongst Germans than proportion- 
ally amongst any other civilized nationality. 
And although it does not stand to reason to 
believe that the class of Germans we have to 
do with here have any knowledge of their fam- 
ous countrymen on the territory of abstract 
philosophy touching religious problems, yet 
the general tendency of going into details, of 
examining for themselves, of investigating and 
discussing various subjects with each other, and 
finally the fact that a literature of a people is 
unconsciously exercising its influence on the 
masses who look for their mental food in the 
daily or periodical press, all that combined is 
not in any particular degree fit to preserve the 
religious simplicity from childhood. In pro- 
testant Germany religious infidelity is making 
a considerable headway in the ranks of the 
laboring classes. Teachers of the Gospel are 



59 

ridiculed and subjected to hatred in the radical 
press, and warfare is preached against any form 
of a revealed or inspired religion. Socialism 
has a firm grasp on the working classes who 
are getting impatient, no longer finding conso- 
lation in the humble teachings of Christianity, 
but striving for better conditions in this world, 
taking their chances in regard to the next. 

Socialism is just as much a French as a Ger- 
man child. It was a Frenchman who invented 
the famous sentence that all property is theft, but 
German university teachers have given the child 
a philosophical education; they adopted it and 
gave it a rich nourishment. Lassalle and Karl 
Marx spent the greater part of their lives in 
pushing it; Marx particularly in forming the 
International and writing a book that, however, 
few socialistic workingmen ever read and still 
fewer ever understood. It is true that the Ger- 
man chancellor has gagged the child, but the 
seed once sown has spread and is deeply rooted 
in the workingmen, and the air of America has 
not changed the views of those socialists who 
sought a shelter under our free institutions. 

Not being over-zealously religious, the Ger- 
man workingman has no direct objection to 
civil weddings ; on the contrary, a great many 



60 

have the ceremony performed by justices, and 
still more would prefer such an unostentatious 
wedding but for the women who usually oppose 
it as flavoring too much of a business transac- 
tion. As well among Germans as amongst 
other nationalities the women with their inborn 
sensitiveness naturally demand the benediction 
of the church pronounced over the matrimony. 
While the clerk is making out the license the 
groom will often remark, that he is going to 
be married by a minister, "not because I care but 
she having been baptized and confirmed in con- 
formity with the rules of the German State- 
church, does not like to dispense with a minis- 
ter on this occasion." He is not so ceremonial, 
and, even if he is a believer, he will scorn the 
idea of our modern revivalist who demands an 
unconditional submission, a faith strong enough 
to move mountains. 

There is a word in the German language ex- 
pressive of sociability and kind disposition com- 
bined, a word to which no synonym is found in 
English, just as the word "home" in the mean- 
ing we apply to it is without a corresponding 
term in French. The word in German is 
"Gemuthlichkeit." The Germans are very 
"gemuthlich," they like to come together ex- 



61 

changing views on all subjects, at the same time 
enjoying their "lager," for this national beverage 
he is very fond of. Our specific German sa- 
loons are, in contrast to our specific American 
saloons, furnished with chairs and tables, for the 
proprietors are aware that their customers have 
not for their only objects the convenience and 
comfort of those who simply desire a glass of beer. 
People go there just as much to find friends with 
whom to have a social gossip. For hours they 
may linger there, always in company. A Ger- 
man does not appreciate the idea of going into 
a saloon just to get a drink. In his own country 
it is not considered bad taste for a family to 
place themselves around a table in a concert 
saloon drinking beer while listening to musical 
entertainments. Here it is not so general a 
spectacle, although we may see it at the specific 
weekly Sunday concerts where ladies in com- 
pany with their husbands and entire family sit 
enjoying Beethoven and Mozart, Strauss, Offen- 
bach and Wagner over a glass of lager beer or 
a glass of wine. 

When a German takes . out a license he is 
frequently in company with several of his friends, 
and not seldom the bride and some of her lady 
acquaintances can be seen amongst them. 



62 

While he is transacting the business with the 
clerk they will surround him, joking and speak- 
ing to the bride, who sometimes will turn a deaf 
ear to their remarks. She is watching him 
very closely, she wants to know "how a mar- 
riage license is taken out," and she will hush 
the friends when they talk too loudly. Ques- 
tioned how old the groom is he may commence : 
"I was born on the 25th of January, 1853, and 
will consequently be 33 years, four months and 
eleven days old to-day." And not to make any 
mistake in regard to the prospective bride's age 
he will leave the answer to her, and she will 
answer with the same exactness referring to her 
certificate of birth which she holds in her hands. 
If a clerk is not sure of how to spell her name 
she soon comes to his rescue thereby giving 
him an idea how spelling of names is carried on 
in German schools. The name for instance be- 
ing "Laufenbach" she will spell each syllable 
for itself, and then slowly pronounce the whole 
name. Very distinctly it sounds: "L-a-u spells 
lau, f-e-n spells fen, b-a-c-h spells bach, ergo 
Laufenbach." She will furthermore remind the 
clerk of the t being a hard ^, not the soft con- 
sonant d, which non-Germans sometimes may 
have some difficulty in discerning. When the 



63 

license is issued the lady will examine it, and 
her friends will help her, and the whole party 
will joke and laugh. They will pass some re- 
marks and nod their good-bye to the clerk. 
Before they reach their home they will un- 
doubtedly take some refreshments on the event 
of the day. 



CHAPTER VIII. 



The Melancholy Dane — Religious Tolerance 
— Norwegian National Pride — The Typic- 
al Norwegian — The Frenchman of the 
North — Religious Views — Swedish Pride. 

IT is a very common thing that Danes, when 
alluded to in the American press, are put 
down as a people of a melancholy tempera- 
ment. That melancholy Danes may be found is 
undeniably a fact, but they are the exceptions 
and not the rule. If it had not been for Shakes- 
peare, Danes would on the contrary be enjoying 
a reputation as a very joyous and "gemuthlich'' 
people without any choleric tendencies. But 
Shakespeare wrote Hamlet, hinc illce lacrimce, 
and Hamlet is undoubtedly a very melancholy 
Dane, his disease being so far advanced that a 
modern psychologist, not to speak of a jury, 
would prefer calling him mentally disturbed. 
While Danes are not melancholy they are on the 

other hand very modest. Perhaps their modesty 

(64) 



65 

may be accounted for when it is remembered that 
Denmark once was the happy possessor of sev- 
eral European countries. People who once 
commanded large fortunes will, when reduced 
to live on smaller incomes, naturally retire and 
take a more modest position in society. In some 
respects the Danish modesty is out of place. 
Denmark has a rich literature, a little treasury 
embracing valuable gems of poetry, science and 
art; its famous university bears the venerable 
age of somewhat over three hundred years, and 
the capital is ranked so high in culture that all 
over Europe it is known under the name: "The 
Athens of the North." 

But in spite of an independent literature and 
language, the Danes have many points of simi- 
larity with the North-Germans. The intellect- 
ual life of Germany has not been without in- 
fluence on the Danes, not that they have imitated 
the Germans, but a powerful neighbor will 
always exercise some influence on his less pow- 
erful neighborhood. It is difficult to be abso- 
lutely independent and not receive impulses 
from a country that produced a Luther, whose 
reformatory theology has been elevated to a 
State-religion in Denmark. German literature 
is freely circulated there, a German author of 

Marriage License Window. 5. 



66 

any importance will always find numerous 
Danish readers. German is taught in the 
schools, and until lately the teaching of German 
was compulsory at the university of Copenhagen. 
German kings have ruled in Denmark ; German 
was the language spoken at the court. Even 
the present king had some difficulty in speaking 
the language of the country when he ascended 
the throne. The conservative minority in 
politics, supported by the government, is trying 
to prove its alleged rights through interpreta- 
tions of German constitutional laws. The 
present generation in Denmark has democratic 
inclinations, and it makes a hard right to pre- 
serve the spirit of the free constitution of the 
land. The fight, however, will never assume 
a sanguinary character, for Danish modesty is 
closely related to the kindred qualification 
named good-nature. A bloody revolution in 
Denmark is a chimera — it is not conceivable. 
It belongs to the impossible things. 

It is not very often that Danes appear before 
the license clerk in company with others. He 
needs no interpreter, for it does not take him 
long ere he can make himself understood in 
English. Although a Protestant by birth he is 
very tolerant in all religious matters. The 



67 

royal family has set an example of religious tol- 
erance. One of the Danish princesses is married 
to the Greek Catholic Emperor of Russia, 
whose children, as a matter of course, have the 
religion of their country. One of the princes is 
the king of Greece who is married to the Rus- 
sian princess Olga, another of the princes is 
married to a Roman Catholic French princess, 
of the house of Orleans. It is not often that a 
Dane in Chicago is married by a civil authority ; 
even if he be a free-thinker he will go to the 
minister on such an occasion. He is too good- 
natured not to yield to the wishes of his coming 
wife, and, besides, it is against his nature to do 
anything contrary to established etiquette. The 
Danish free-thinker is not a propagandist, he is 
more of a passive than active opponent of the 
church. There are undeniably many free- 
thinkers in Denmark, but certainly very few 
atheists, a very important distinction, because 
free-thinking may lead to a belief in a provi- 
dence, while atheism represents religious nihil- 
ism. 

While the Danes have a great love for their 
country they are at the same time cosmopoli- 
tans, and their national pride is not so intense 
as that of the Norwegians. The sons of Norway 



68 

are more radical. Not to any great extent ex- 
posed to European politics the Norwegian peo- 
ple have had time to nurse their own political 
interests. In every good sense of the word a 
democratic people with a constitution after 
French patterns and with a leaning to English 
liberalism, they have successfully established 
home-rule in all matters pertaining to the gov- 
ernment of their own affairs. Their national 
pride will sometimes assume the character of an 
unlimited admiration of all that is Norwegian, 
but this national weakness is easily over-looked 
because of their many good and conspicuous 
traits of character. 

It took the currents of civilization longer time 
to reach the more isolated Norway than Den- 
mark. The geographical site and the natural 
qualities of Norway, that made it rather expen- 
sive to build railroads, were great impediments 
to a general enlightenment. The last twenty- 
five years, however, have wrought a wonderful 
change in the former conditions; an attentive 
observer will notice immense progress in all the 
relations entitling a people to be ranked amongst 
the civilized nations of high order. The Nor- 
wegian farmer of the present generation reads 
his daily papers; he has the decisive vote in 



69 

parliament. Peasant high-schools are springing 
up in every part of the land, and the former vain 
and false national pride is yielding to broader 
ideas of what should constitute the pride of a 
land. The poets and authors of the present 
Norway are on a level with the poets and au- 
thors of the literary golden age of Denmark, 
which country, however, still holds the lead as 
the most critical of the two, numbering amongst 
others the learned and highly gifted Dr. Georg 
Brandes, well known and not under-rated in lit- 
erary circles of America. 

Just as Norwegians are more radical in their 
politics than are the Danes, so they are also 
more radical in their views on religious matters. 
We find amongst them representatives of sickly 
pietism and rabid and outspoken free-thinkers. 
Most of the Norwegians here in Chicago belong 
to a Church, and seldom or never a justice of the 
peace is allowed to unite a couple in wedlock. 

The typical Norwegian is a stern and earnest 
man of few words. He is tall, broad-shouldered 
and of a firm character. A sculptor wishing 
.to produce the war-god Thor from the Norse 
Mythology, and looking for a live model 
may find such a one amongst the typical Nor- 
wegian. He is not so susceptible of a joke as 



TO 

the Dane, whose views of life are a good deal 
brighter. He loves his own language, but in 
common with all Scandinavians he has adopted 
the golden rule : to do as the Romans do when 
he lives amongst them. From the day he lands 
he is trying hard to learn the language of his 
new country, and to adopt its manners and 
habits. He usually marries a Norwegian girl, 
yet his national pride does not restrain him from 
taking a Danish or Swedish wife. Norwegians 
and Danes particularly agree very well. They 
may sometimes rail at each other's character- 
istic oddities, but they have the main conditions 
for honest friendship — mutual estimation. 

As well known, the third element in the Scan- 
dinavian family consists of Swedes who in many 
points considerably vary from Danes and Nor- 
wegians. The difference of language is of no 
small dimensions, the similarity being only on 
the surface. In the common daily language the 
three nationalities may understand each other, 
but here the understanding ceases. Swedish 
is a language of its own; Danes and Norwegians 
in order to master it must study and practice it 
as any other foreign language. In Denmark 
and Norway it has been introduced into the 
schools as a separate discipline, and Swedish 



71 

literature is constantly read in translations. 
Although the acquirement of English does not 
present greater difficulties to Swedes than to 
Danes or Norwegians, yet the musical scale of 
the Swedish language may be noticed through 
their pronunciation of English. As a matter of 
course this peculiarity will disappear during a 
longer stay in America, but it takes a long 
while, and can always be traced in the case of 
emigrants of the lower classes. In Europe the 
Swedes are not seldom alluded to as "The 
Frenchmen of the North." Their manners are 
very graceful, and, besides, they are just as po- 
lite as are the French. While American house- 
wives may not prefer a Swedish hired girl to a 
Danish or Norwegian, it is a fact that Ameri- 
can gentlemen seem to have a predilection for 
Swedish girls, so much, indeed, that when they 
meet a handsome Norwegian or Danish girl, 
they indiscriminately put her down as Swedish. 
The Swedish people possess a great sense of 
beauty and are of advanced ideas. The eman- 
cipation of women, in the good and sensible 
meaning, has now a pretty good hold on the 
population. One of the Swedish universities 
has set a good example in calling a lady as 
teacher in higher mathematics, mayhap not as 



72 

a demonstration, but because she is considered 
pre-eminent in her science, that nowhere ought 
to inquire into the sexes of its cultivators. Swe- 
den is a country with a grand national history, 
playing no insignificant role in the history of 
the world. It is by all odds the most historical 
country of the three,, and the halo surrounding 
the lives of its heroical kings cast a romantic 
light over the entire population. 

Swedes are rather susceptible of religious im- 
pressions, at least the illiterate classes. Luther- 
ans as they are "by virtue of the laws connect- 
ing State and Church, we find more religious 
sects amongst them than amongst any of the 
two other nationalities. In fact, Sweden has 
itself produced a founder of a sect, Swedenborg, 
whose theosophic religious ideas have made 
their round all over the world, numbering not a 
few adherents in all parts of the United States. 
Amongst the laboring classes in Chicago we 
find a great many who prefer a civil marriage 
to that of the church. On the other hand we 
find Swedes whose religious zeal is so great that 
it will not even allow them to make an affidavit, 
and who therefore obtain a license by affirma- 
tion. Some will not even affirm, but in com- 
pany with their spiritual adviser go to one of 



73 

the neighboring states, where no license is re- 
quired. As a rule, the men choose their wives 
within their own nationality, but Swedish girls 
seem to have a more cosmopolitan heart in love 
affairs. They are not afraid of entering into 
marriage with Americans, Irish or Germans. 
They verify the old saying that love has no re- 
gard for nationality, race, or religious views. 

Swedes, while not exactly clannish, nourish a 
great national pride. They do not like to be 
called Scandinavians, and some of them are not 
far from considering it an insult to be taken for 
Norwegians. Amongst the enlightened classes the 
national pride does not take such an abnormal 
form; if jealousy exists, it is not apparent on the 
surface, at least. The masses, however, want 
to remind the world of the undeniable fact that 
they are Swedes and nothing else. 

The three Scandinavian countries have con- 
tributed their share of famous notabilities in 
different branches of art and science. But 
while Americans sometimes may be in doubt, 
whether Thorvaldsen or Hans Christian Ander- 
sen are Danes, or whether Ibsen or Bjornson are 
Norwegians, they never doubt the nationality 
of Erickson, the inventor of the monitor, or 
Swedenborg, or Christine Nilsson. Americans 



74 

may confound the names of Danish with Swe- 
dish kings, but no American is in doubt but 
that Gustaf Adolf, or Carl XII. were Swedes. 
An explanation of these latter facts may be 
sought in the history of the land in relation to 
the great powers. Sweden's part in the religi- 
ous wars has given it a position, the understand- 
ing of which necessitates a closer investigation 
of the details of the nation's history. 



CHAPTER IX. 



Models for Artists — Italians — A Beautiful 
Couple — A Bohemian Bride and Groom — 
A Hackman — From Hand to Mouth — Co- 
operation — Economical Deductions. 

THERE is no doubt that an artist or student 
of human nature may find models or sub- 
jects when on a busy day he will come to 
the marriage license window and there take a 
look at the manners and bearings of the appli- 
cants. If he is successful he will see the doors 
thrown open for a crowd of Italians. There 
may be fifteen in number, seldom less than six. 
The groom and the prospective bride are in 
advance of the crowd. They place themselves 
in the middle of the floor surrounded on each 
side by his and her family, of which the young- 
est sometimes are seated on their mother's and 
grandmother's arms. The men have all uncov- 
ered their heads before they entered the office. 
The women's headgear consists of a triangular 
handkerchief of all the colors of the rainbow. 

(75) 



76 

None of the whole family understands English, 
a fact, however, not preventing them from talk- 
ing ; on the contrary they are carrying on a very 
lively conversation in their own language, at the 
same time gesticulating with their hands and 
moving their features and eyes in a demonstra- 
tive way, peculiar to people of Roman origin. 
They are accompanied by an interpreter, so- 
called, who is urging Guiseppe and Colomba to 
step up to the window. Guiseppe cannot sign 
his name. How should he, having never fre- 
quented a school, and Colomba is not better 
situated, having never taken lessons in the use- 
ful art of writing with a pen. He is an under- 
sized youth of twenty-three, heavily built and of 
a rather good appearance. She is of still smaller 
stature, but proportionally well built, of dark 
complexion with a yellow tinge. Her features 
are symmetrical, her eyes are dark and they 
might be called handsome, if they were not 
lacking the expression that may give life and 
vivacity to less regular features. As she stands 
there in her not very presumptious garment of 
many colors, with her head uncovered, bashful 
as a violet, without moving from the spot, she 
looks like a handsome doll that by dint of a 
mechanical contrivance can open andshutits eyes. 



77 

She is just sixteen years of age, but her 
mother is present and she gives willingly her 
consent to her daughter's marriage. She ex- 
plains that she was still younger when she was 
married in Italy. She is now about thirty-four 
years old, but she looks much older than she is. 
Her face is rather emaciated and wrinkled; her 
complexion is sallow, and her green-colored 
headgear by no means flatters the color of her 
face. The bride's father is also present, but 
looks rather unconcerned. He belongs to a 
family that has done military service under 
Garibaldi, whom he reveres as the liberator of 
Italy, without giving a thought to Cavour. 

The crowd keeps at a respectful distance from 
the window until the groom and mother-in-law 
make their marks on the affidavit blank. Then 
they all move forward to see what is going on. 
They lean over each others shoulders, and pre- 
sent a very picturesque group. When Guiseppe 
holds up his right hand to be sworn, silence pre- 
vails amongst them, attentively they listen to 
the oath, the verbal meaning of which they do 
not understand, but the importance of which 
they all are aware of. Sometimes they will all 
hold up their right hands, placing their left on 
that part of the chest under which they suppose 



78 

their hearts to be located. They are very po- 
lite and highly astonished or agreeably surprised 
when accosted in their own language. The 
groom may leave his card at the window. It 
is a business card stating that he is beating the 
harp at reasonable terms to those who want to 
dance in private circles. He is the musical di- 
rector, a couple of his countrymen assisting him 
on violin and tambourine, which three instru- 
ments constitute the orchestra. The whole 
party may direct their steps to the nearest jus- 
tice of the peace who, for the moneyed consid- 
eration stipulated by law, will unite Guiseppe 
and Colomba in the bonds of matrimony. 

Not many Italian weddings are contracted in 
Chicago — not one a week. We frequently come 
across many good-looking and thrifty Italians, 
but they do not seem to have any connubial 
propensities. Mayhap that the scarcity of mar- 
riages can be explained through the fact that the 
young men prefer a wife of their own nation- 
ality, and that Italian girls, who emigrate from 
their native country, are proportionately very 
scarce in Chicago. Italy, like the rest of the 
south European countries, does not render a 
large emigrating contingent to the United 
States. People there are not used to work 



79 

hard, nor is it necessary. Nature has taken 
upon herself a great deal of the work that hu- 
man hands are used to do in other less favored 
countries. Italians prefer staying home, letting 
foreigners come to them, partly to get the bene- 
fit of a climate so beneficial to a broken consti- 
tution, partly to enrich their knowledge by en- 
joying the many treasures of art and antiquities 
which, among other cities, Rome is the happy 
owner of. The eternal city, where Cato preached 
the strictest morality, and where Nero drove to 
the theater through an alley of torches composed 
of burning Christians, has not lost its attraction 
in our century. 

An exceptionally beautiful couple appeared 
before the license window a couple of years ago. 
She was a Roman girl, he was a Neapolitan; 
both had been but a short time in America. 
She was well grown, slender, with a finely 
shaped head. The aquiline nose, the form of 
which is generally known under the name of 
"Roman," the large dark and exceedingly 
expressive eyes, the elevation of the noble 
forehead limited and wreathed in a pro- 
fusion of chestnut hair, the handsome mouth 
with its finely cut lips guarding a row of well 
preserved pearly white teeth, the transparent 



80 

complexion of her cheeks, her round shoulders 
and arms ending in a pair of aristocratic hands, 
and finally the harmonious proportions of her 
whole figure, was a corroboration of the often 
expressed opinion, that Roman girls may be rare 
beauties. He was taller by some inches than 
she, with a commanding appearance. His mass- 
ive head, with a brow indicating great deter- 
mination, was resting upon a pair of broad 
shoulders. His manners were nonchalant, at 
the same time elegant; his walk elastic, and all 
his bearings conveying the impression of his 
being a man of the higher classes. Both could 
speak English, but she carried on the conversa- 
tion, he apparently being of a more reticent dis- 
position. She commenced an explanation of the 
circumstances that brought them to America. 
They would not make Chicago their home, they 
were here on their way to California, whence 
they would return to Italy as soon as the pater- 
nal wrath had subsided. He did not like her 
revelation of the secrets of the family, a flash- 
ing of his eyes was an admonition which pre- 
vented her from telling the romance of their love. 
He did not look amiable at that moment, but 
his silent and yet so eloquent command was 
immediately obeyed. When he unbuttoned his 



81 

coat to pay the fee a little dagger with a golden, 
engraved handle was visible in a belt around his 
waist. He gave an observer the impression of 
being jealous, and of being not too scrupulous 
as to his method of retaliation in case any per- 
son should fail to keep at a respectful distance 
from her. 

During a busy day a painter or a student may 
get an opportunity to see a Bohemian wedding 
couple. He will directly observe that the pre- 
parations have been made with great care. He, 
a young but well developed man, has donned a 
brand new, black coat, the upper button-hole of 
which is furnished with a rather large bouquet 
of white flowers interspersed with green leaves. 
The flowers have never bloomed, neither in the 
early or the late spring, for they are artificial. 
And yet they have very little to do with art, 
whatever a less esthetic eye will discover at the 
first glance. His hair is carefully dressed, the 
well known pomatumed or oiled curl covering 
the middle part of his broad forehead. His toi- 
let would, however, not be perfect but for the 
new white cotton gloves, which encasement he 
leaves undisturbed while he is signing his name 
to the affidavit. She is dressed in a gown of 
white, light material, the bridal veil reaching to 

Marriage License Window. 6. 



82 

the ground. A floral ornament is fastened to 
her hair, and will sometimes take the shape of a 
wreath. Her hands are covered with white 
gloves, but the color of the bare wrists shows 
that she is not unprepared for a coming wash- 
day. She is accompanied by three or four 
bridesmen, all spruced and with white artificial 
flowers of large dimensions in their buttonholes, 
or fastened to the lapels of their coats. Like 
the groom, their heads show visible signs of hav- 
ing been under tonsorial treatment, of which the 
fragrant smell of oil and pomatum bear unmis- 
takable evidence. 

In the party may be seen a person with a very 
jovial face, but whose garment indicates that he 
is not an invited guest. He wears a slouch hat 
that has seen good and bad days, rain and sun- 
shine. In his right hand he holds a large whip. 
He is the hackman, who brought the groom 
and his bride, and who will take them from the 
office to the justice of the peace. He is a man 
of very good manners, this jovial hackman, 
with a pair of eyes that can see around corners. 
He opens the doors for the party and exhibits 
the same reverence when it leaves the office. 
He is politeness personified, with a face wreathed 
in smiles, and he looks so healthy and so happy, 



83 

which he undoubtedly is, whether he takes a 
party to a wedding or a funeral. He may turn 
round in the doorway nodding a significant bow 
to the clerk, and a twinkle of his eye may con- 
vince one that on an occasion like this the legal 
fare need not be too strictly adhered to. The 
hackman is a good judge of human nature. Ex- 
perience has taught him that at weddings and 
funerals most people are very liberal. What 
does a groom care for a dollar on his wedding- 
day? His mind is too absorbed with the pres- 
ent and future happiness to mind such a trifle — 
provided he has the dollar to spare. 

Not all grooms, we are sorry to say, have a 
dollar to spare, and not few have less than a 
dollar. Here is a middle-aged man, who never 
has made acquaintance with any luxury. He 
is a type of that class of workingmen who have 
to work hard for their food ; never earning more 
than enough to live from hand to mouth. He 
has learned no trade, but is earning a scanty 
living by helping masons during the building 
season, taking accidental jobs the rest of the 
year. His license is made out and he stands 
now in front of the cashier's window, where he 
is getting the unexpected information that the 
fee for a license is one dollar and a half. He 



84 

carries his right hand up to the back of his head, 
and after some meditation he remarks that one 
dollar is all he has in his possession until next 
pay-day. He did not know the law, or he might 
have raised the necessary amount. He asks if 
the county will not trust him fifty cents till next 
Monday. The county not doing that kind of 
business, the clerks of the office " splice togeth- 
er " and the man gets his license. The charity 
makes him eloquent, and he explains his matri- 
monial alliance from economical standpoints. 
His average weekly earning, all the year round, 
amounts to five and a half dollars. His "girl," 
who is on the other side of forty years, makes a 
living by washing. She has two absolutely re- 
liable families, and three others trust her to do 
their washing in her house. Through this she 
has an income of five dollars a week. He has 
made the calculation, that it is easier for two 
persons, of which one belongs to the weaker sex 
advanced in years, to live on ten dollars and a 
half a week than it is for each to live on said 
respective incomes. She has listened to his 
economical deductions, and after due delibera- 
tion she has come to the conclusion that no 
danger is connected with the enterprise. They 
have, therefore, agreed to live together as hus- 



85 

band and wife. This is not a union of romantic 
love, but there is no small degree of diplomacy 
in it. It is a kind of co-operation on a small 
scale, and of a durable character. In such a 
matrimony a divorce is never thought of, even 
if diverging opinions may lead to family scenes. 
They live happily according to their notions of 
happiness, and when she dies, after many years, 
her heirs may find a little sum saved with great 
care and with the sacrifice of many an innocent 
inclination to cover the expenses of her funeral. 
Not for anything in the world would she after 
her demise occupy a grave in " Potter's Field." 
She belongs to that class of poor but respectable 
individuals who have lived and worked all their 
lives to get a decent funeral. 



CHAPTER X, 



Disagreeably Surprised — A Girl of Age — A 
Reasonable Doubt — An Angry Mother — 
Parents' Punishments — Subtraction. 

HE who most enjoyed the workingman's 
economical reflections is a young man, 
full of life and hope for the future, and 
with a weak intimation of a mustache. He thinks 
it queer that people do not know the statutes re- 
garding the fee for a marriage license. It is now 
his turn to be waited on. Everything runs smooth- 
ly until he, on the question being asked, how old 
the lady is, answered "sweet seventeen." "Are 
you sure," he is questioned, "that she is that 
old? " Yes, certainly he is sure, and he names 
the day of the year she was born, which deduct- 
ed from the present day verifies his statement. 
She is exactly seventeen years and three fall 
months, neither more nor less. That no mis- 
take shall take place, he is asked if he is willing 
to swear to her age. Of course he is willing, 
and jokingly he quotes Dickens by saying: 

(36) 



87 

"Barkis is willing." . He is then informed that 
the marriage laws require a girl to be eighteen 
years old before a wedding permit can be issued 
to her unless one of her parents give their sworn 
consent, or if she has no parents alive, then her 
legally appointed guardian. This paragraph 
of the law the young man has no knowledge of, 
he never heard of it, and it seems to him to be a 
very queer provision. He is no longer so cheer- 
ful as when he entered the office or listened to his 
predecessor's economical argument, nor is he any 
longer so sure of her age. He might be mistak- 
en, in fact, one's memory may sometimes fail. 
Perhaps she is eighteen years, she is tall, he ex- 
plains, physically well developed, she looks really 
as if she were twenty. Her parents are dead long 
ago, if they were alive they would certainly not 
stand in the way of their daughter's marriage. 
She never had a guardian appointed, and it 
would give a great deal of trouble to get one in 
a hurry. The wedding has been fixed for to- 
morrow night, everything is prepared, and it 
would be a great disappointment if a postpone- 
ment should be necessary. 

However great the sympathy a young man 
under such circumstances may be entitled to, 
however strongly his fate may appeal to a 



88 

deputy's heart, there is no remedy to help him 
out except that prescribed by the statutes of 
Illinois. Learning that no argument can induce 
a deputy to issue a license to a minor, he leaves 
the office. But not later than half an hour after 
he re-appears before the window in company 
with a young girl, his sweet-heart. He intro- 
duces her as the individual who, better than 
anybody else, can give reliable information in 
regard to her birth-day. His remark calling 
forth a mild objection he is willing to admit 
that to most of us mortals it may be rather dif- 
ficult to remember the year we were born. 
The young girl is blushing when she explains 
that she is eighteen years past, and in one point 
his statement is fully corroborated; she looks 
as if she were over twenty. It is evident that 
the two have had a quarrel before they entered 
the office; she looks very indignant, and is up- 
braiding him for his lack of true knowledge. 
In a somewhat hasty tone she appeals to the 
clerk's good judgment. Her lover has made a 
very sad mistake. She knows she is eighteen, 
she has with her own eyes seen it in the Bible. 

-." In the Bible?" 

"Yes, sir, in the Bible, that is, in the Old 
Testament." 



89 

"In the Old Testament ?" 

"Yes, sir, that is to say; Oh, you certainly 
understand me, Mr. Clerk, nry father had an 
Old Testament, in which he entered the day and 
the year of the birth of all his children. Of 
this nomenclature it appears without any doubt, 
to the satisfaction of even the most skeptic mind, 
that I am now past eighteen years, so help me 
God!" 

When the young girl was through, one of the 
bystanders came to her assistance with the re- 
mark that the Bible was a good authority, what 
was in that book we had to believe. With that 
remark all further objection fell to the ground, 
she was not even asked to produce the Bible. 
Triumphantly she walked out of the office with 
the license in her hand, apparently happy at the 
achieved result. He followed her slowly, with- 
out uttering a word, perhaps in silent admira- 
tion of his girl's argumentative faculties. 

A reasonable doubt may certainly be raised 
as to the real age of the girl; but what is abso- 
lutely doubtless and what daily may be expe- 
rienced is that many persons, otherwise decent 
and not in the habit of lying, do not show any 
particular regard for truth and veracity in tak- 
ing out a marriage license. Although fully 



90 

aware of the facts young men may swear that 
they are twenty-one and the girl is eighteen, 
while both or one of them is a minor. Their 
conscience does not seem to trouble them; to 
justify the end they do not mind a perjury as a 
means. The discovery is made in a very simple 
way ; when parents or guardians read their 
children's names in the daily published list of 
marriage licenses, or otherwise learn that they 
are about to get married, they will put on their 
hats and overcoats, and hurry down to the 
county clerk's office to be convinced of the 
truth with their own eyes and ears. It is usually 
mothers who make their appearance on such 
occasions. As a rule mothers do not like their 
children to marry at too young an age. Mothers 
will sometimes talk very loud, very quick, and 
without the least constraint. A clerk with a 
taste for family secrets need not fear that his in- 
clination will not be gratified. Here is a mother 
with her eyes full of tears, but they are not the 
tears of sorrow but of wrath. After having 
argued that her daughter had no business to 
marry, she proves that her daughter has stained 
her, the mother's good name and reputation. 
The daughter has given her age as eighteen, 
while she is hardly seventeen. She is - the old- 



91 

est and first born child of the family. If she 
really was eighteen, as the affidavit and the 
papers have it, she must have been born one 
year before her parents were wedded. What 
would the neighbors and friends of the family 
think and say. They were all aware that the 
parents had been married only eighteen years ; 
the framed marriage certificate in the parlor 
they had all studied and admired. Whom 
would they believe, the parents or the daugh- 
ter? 

In the first excitement parents will promise 
to punish their wicked children. They will 
have the son-in-law or the daughter-in-law ar- 
rested. They want to know the procedure and 
they are very thankful for the information that 
they may take out a warrant charging the cul- 
prits with perjury and perhaps succeed in get- 
ting them in the penitentiary. He who did not 
know better might think that now would follow 
a criminal case, with the license clerk as the 
main witness. It never happens. When the 
wrathful parents go home and think cooly over 
the matter, they surrender to the inevitable, the 
more so as they soon learn that their children's 
wedding was an accomplished fact ten minutes 
after the license was issued. Parents ma3^ 



92 

sometime file an affidavit stating that their child 
is not of age. But having gained the full confi- 
dence of their daughter, they may withdraw the 
affidavit, asking the clerk to ante-date the license 
for very delicate reasons. 

It may, perhaps, be understood without any 
further comment, that the number of women 
adding one to their age is not so large as the 
number of those subtracting four, five, nay 
even sometimes ten years from their first birth- 
day. To live as long as possible is a common 
wish with all mankind, but it is a peculiarity 
with women, particularly the single ones in 
their third decade, that they will not be older, 
that is, they will not admit it. Woe to the man 
who in the presence of a woman taxes her age 
too high in the numeral series. He is apt to 
make a never forgiving enemy. If his mind is 
bent upon securing or continuing her friendship 
he will act wisely by valuing her ten years 
younger than he thinks she is. A well known 
lawyer in Chicago, being for the defense in a li- 
bel suit not many months ago, in addressing the 
jury averred that it was a very common custom 
among families here to subtract several years 
from the ages of their marriageable daughters, 
in order not to frighten the lovers from their 



93 

houses. Whether this utterance was founded 
upon a close knowledge of facts, or simply cal- 
culated as an excuse for the defendant's false 
statement of her age, matters little. There is 
no doubt but that in hundreds of instances a 
woman's own statement of her age, when she is 
about to get married, need a thorough revision. 
In course of time the imaginary or fictitious age 
will naturally be corrected ; if this were not the 
case the death certificates could not render a 
reliable result for statistics. A comparison of 
the ages on the marriage certificates with those 
of the death certificates may lead to a proof of 
the physical impossibility, that there have lived 
women in Chicago who were ten years of age 
at their entering of life. 

To give the ages at the contracting of a mar- 
riage is a proportionally new arrangement. The 
law only requires that both parties shall be of 
age, but the enlarged statistics justly demanded, 
in the name of real facts, more careful dates to 
build on, that the results should not be im- 
aginary. Fifteen years ago the applicants were 
not asked to give their exact ages, and that 
must have been a golden time for women rather 
advanced in years. At that time all men and 
women, wishing to share the sunshine and rain 



94 

of married life, were, according to their 
affidavits, twenty-one and eighteen years old, no 
matter whether he was an old widower and she 
a widow with numerous offspring. 
The affidavit from that period read : 

I, , of the City of (Chicago), County of 

(Cook), State of (Illinois), solemnly swear that I am 

of the age of twenty-one, and that Miss , of the 

City of (Chicago), County of (Cook), State of (Illi- 
nois), is of the age of eighteen, and that both are single 
and unmarried, and may lawfully contract and be joined 
in marriage. 



CHAPTER XL 

An Old Couple — Some Motives — Daring Expe- 
riments — Old Age and Blooming Youth — 
Disproportion. 

IF any doubts were entertained as to the ex- 
act age of the before mentioned young girl, 
there is a decisive proof that the old man 
who now stands before the window applying for 
a license has a long time ago passed the limits 
of his maturity. Old people are not seldom 
loquacious. Judging from his talk he is in pos- 
session of his mental faculties, he is very ra- 
tional, if there were any doubts in regard to 
this point he could obtain no license. The stat- 
utes are very plain on that point. And yet a 
clerk without knowledge of psychology or of the 
germs of insanity may be deceived. Without 
any intention of insulting former, present, or 
coming license clerks, we may take it for grant- 
ed that they are not expert psychologists. Not 
many months ago a very old man applied for a li- 
cense. He spoke rationally and was so well versed 

(95) 



96 

with the affairs of our newspapers that he knew 
that the publication of his license could not be 
avoided. His children were present at his wed- 
ding, and undoubtedly extended their hearty 
congratulations to him and his wife. The 
question of his sanity was not raised then, but 
when he died some months after his wedding, 
and his will was opened, his family, with the ex- 
ception of his wife, protested against its proba- 
tion, supporting their protest with ample proofs 
that their father was insane when he married 
the last time. 

But to return to the old man at the window. 
He is about seventy years old, the stage of life 
where most people attaining such an age think 
of anything but wedlock. He is a well pre- 
served man, tall and erect, with a good natured 
expression in his eyes, and with a very dignified 
bearing. As it looked like rain in the morning 
when he left the house, he carries an umbrella 
instead of a cane. Has he been married before ? 
Yes, certanily, he explains; with his first wife he 
lived nearly thirty years, and with his second 
about sixteen. She died of old age about two 
years ago. He tried to live with his married 
son, but he got soon tired of that. " Parents 
should never reside with their married children, 



97 

no, sir, it is a very poor scheme." In some re- 
spects he liked it well enough, but the blessed 
grand-children were not always as they should 
be. When he wished to sleep they would com- 
mence singing or they would practice on the 
piano. Besides, he could no longer eat at cer- 
tain hours, and we must mind dining hours in a 
house where we are boarders. Should he once 
more be left a widower he would marry again. 
To remain single is a poor policy for a man who 
has tasted the sweetness of married life. "Yes, 
sir, her name is Sarah," he answers when que- 
ried as to the name of his coming wife, but he 
has forgotten her surname. 

No great delay is caused, for Sarah is outside, 
and the old man trips to the door and calls her 
inside. She is a widow at about sixty, wrapped 
up in a big shawl, her head covered with a silk 
hood. In her hand she carries a tax-receipt 
book, for she has seized the opportunity while 
in the court house to pay her taxes in the treas- 
urer's office. She states her full name and gives 
furthermore the number of her house. She is a 
childless widow, she explains, having known her 
prospective husband, in all honor and decency, 
during the time he was married to his second 
wife. She has been a widow for ten years, and 

Marriage License Window. 7. 



98 

never thought of re-marrying, but then she got 
a good offer and accepted it. It has taken 
some time to make out the license, for the by- 
standers have mingled in the conversation, and a 
rather old joker amongst them reminds her of 
the biblical Sarah to whom three angels paid a 
visit and promised her a son despite her hundred 
years. She laughs at the joke reparteeing with 
a wink of her eye that the days of such miracles 
have passed, and, besides, her husband is no 
Abraham. 

Taking a hearty leave the couple turn to the 
door, but he suddenly stops and returns to get 
his umbrella. But where is the umbrella? He 
had put it right in front of him while he pro- 
duced his eye-glasses from his coat pocket. He 
is searching every neighboring corner, but in 
vain. The umbrella is irrevocably lost. It 
seems as if this object is common property in 
America, and it can change hands as often as a 
nickel. On a rainy day it is less inclined to get 
out of the hands of its legitimate proprietor, but 
it behooves him to mind it when the weather is 
clearing. Unfortunately we are then apt to 
lose our grip on it, and particularly when we 
are longing for marriage, even if this protector 
against the wet element is a family umbrella. 



99 

Not a few weddings are contracted in course 
of the year between people of old age, and the 
motives for these barren unions are pretty near 
the same in all instances. Men who in advanced 
years lose their wives do not like the idea of re- 
siding with their married children. They may 
try it for a little while, but will soon give it up, 
provided they are so situated that their financial 
circumstances will allow it. In giving up 
their old household they simultaneously have to 
give up their old habits of living. Not seldom 
the children are living in some other cities, and 
in not a few instances the old people are child- 
less. 

The old widower usually re-marries to get a 
good nursing. He might perhaps attain the 
same result by hiring a nurse, but he is aware 
of this being a less desirable arrangement. In 
the first place he is not sure that a nurse will 
remain with him until he dies ; besides, a stranger 
paid a weekly salary is not so economical as 
the lady of the house. Sometimes a certain ro- 
mantic light is cast over the union between old 
people; they may have known each other from 
childhood, they may have been school-mates and 
loved each other somewhat later, but was pre- 
vented from being made one by a sad fate 
LoFC. 



100 

crossing their ways. But these are the excep- 
tions, while the rule is that he wants a female 
individual to take care of him and his house; 
she in return wants to better her condition and 
live the rest of her days without any fear of 
stern necessity overtaking her in her declining 
years. 

It is, however, not always that old widowers 
take old women as their wives. It will some- 
times happen that they take quite young girls 
as compensation for their deceased better halves. 
Such daring experiments are nearly exclusively 
made by well-to-do citizens. Unions of such a 
character are justly considered ridiculous in re- 
gard to him, and as to her they are looked upon 
as deplorable or detestable. An old man be- 
lieving that a young female heart harbors any 
feeling coming near to love for him, is a fool 
well deserving of the punishment that most fre- 
quently will follow unnatural inclinations. As 
to her, she must either be utterly inexperienced 
in love matters, or she is selling her youth for 
money. Weddings have been contracted in 
Chicago, the disproportions of the ages having 
been so large that incredulous persons might 
doubt the possibility of their existence if the 
records did not deliver the proof in black and 



101 

white. Men between sixty and seventy have 
married girls of nineteen, and as no laws inter- 
fere with such unnatural unions, it may be the 
framers of our marriage laws presumed that the 
young girl would make a more sensible choice 
the next time she married. 

It was a bitterly cold night when old age and 
blooming youth, personified in a man of sixty-six 
and a girl of eighteen, applied for a license. He 
was tall and slender, she was small and rather 
heavily built. Through artificial means he tried 
to conceal the marks of time. His face had just 
got a clean shave, but the powder could not 
altogether hide his many wrinkles. His martial 
mustache, trimmed after the latest fashion, had 
undergone a coloring process, the root ends of 
his beard being snow white! When he took 
out the license the mustache was raven black. 
Very carefully he lifted his hat when the oath 
was administered, apparently fearing that his 
wig, matching the color of his mustache, would 
be deranged or follow an upward direction, 
thereby betraying the baldness of his head. 
From his vest pocket he pulled a lorgnette, and 
nervously seizing a pen he signed his name. The 
old cynic kept up a monolog while the affidavit 
and license was made out. "You see," he ex- 



102 

plained, " I am of age. In fact, my whole family 
is of age. We belong to a family of longevity. 
I am pretty well fixed, and to marry a poor girl 
is a charitable act, for I do not expect that this 
young girl ever will love me. I do not believe 
any woman, young or old, could love a man of 
sixty-six." All he wanted was to be united to 
a young female being in whom he could have 
the utmost confidence, and who could soothe the 
evening of his life. " Is not that the contract?" 
he finished, turning to Anna. She did not sa}' 
a word. Pulling her veil down before her face she 
remained silent as a sphinx. The contract did not 
last long, for six months after the young widow 
was married to a man of about her own age. 

Society has not only imbued civilized man- 
kind with certain notions of propriety, but the 
same practices are differently viewed or judged 
as they are found in either of the two sexes. So, 
for instance, we deem it not absolutely disgust- 
ing to see a drunken man, if he is not too full, 
while the sight of a woman under the influence 
of liquor, we consider a most abominable one. 
An old man falling in love with a young woman 
and marrying her in the hope that she will love 
him for his own sake, is looked upon as ridiculous. 
But when an old woman marries a young man 



103 

in the belief that he will be a good and faithful 
husband, the climax of ridiculousness, bordering 
on insanity, is reached. In France, where they 
sometimes joke rather freely, a lady of sixty 
was asked when she thought that the erotic 
feeling in a woman's heart ceased; the lady 
bashfully asked to be excused, simultaneously 
directing the inquirer to other ladies older than 
herself. And, truly, it is within the possibilities 
that a woman in an advanced stage of life may 
preserve an unimpaired feeling of love, but, 
nevertheless, we will always consider it unnatural 
for her to cast her eyes upon an entirely young 
man who surely can not nourish any feeling de- 
serving of the name of love toward her. 

Not many marriages are solemnized in 
Cook county between old women and young 
men, perhaps ten in a year, which, however, is 
ten too many. Both parties will, as a rule, face 
the license clerk. She will not relax her grasp 
on the young man. She wants to be sure 
of him, but the wedding is seldom consum- 
mated until some hours after the issuing of the 
license, he in the meantime paying a visit to 
the recorder's office, there to assure himself of 
the genuineness of her deed on house and 
lot. 



104 

A most disproportionate marriage in regard 
to ages was entered into about three years ago 
by a man who gave his age as twenty-five, and 
a woman who asked to be put down as fifty- 
eight, but who undoubtedly had passed sixty- 
five. The sight of such a couple will necessa- 
rily burn itself into the memory of a clerk. It 
is with such a sight as with that of an execu- 
tion, a veritable European beheading with ax or 
guillotine. We shudder and our blood runs cold, 
not only at the actual moment, but whenever 
we think of it, though it may be many years 
after. 

The woman in this case had put on her best 
dress; her appearance and whole make-up had 
given her a coquettish touch. With both her 
arms resting in his right one, they slowly 
marched up to the window. She was not even 
a good looking woman, her small face with its 
pinched nose being in sharp contrast to the cir- 
cumference of her body. He was dressed in a 
black suit, a large diamond glittered in his shirt 
front, most likely a present from her, but no 
collar adorned his fat and red neck. " I want 
a license for this lady and myself," he said, cut- 
ting loose from her arms, thereby stepping on 
her bridal veil, that reached from the top of her 



105 

head to the ground. There was a crowd at the 
window who, at the sight of this couple, looked 
as if they suddenly had become speechless, and 
with an expression in their eyes as if they 
doubted the possibility of such a matrimonial 
union. The spell-bound condition was suddenly 
removed by a young fellow in the crowd who, 
when the groom was asked to give the name of 
the bride, cried at the top of his voice: "Chest- 
nut!" They all partook of hearty and loud 
laughter at that exclamation, with the exception 
of the groom, who did not seem to be versed in 
our modern vocabulary, (the chestnut bell had 
not been invented at that time.) With the li- 
cense in his hand, he said: " I want a judge." 
"I should say you need one," was the answer 
from one in the crowd. An hour later the li- 
cense was returned. The agony was over, the 
marriage was an accomplished fact. She was 
his wife, and he had promised to love her, obey 
her and hold unto her and forsake all others "as 
long as they both shall live." And they still 
live. 



CHAPTER XII. 



Forcing Circumstances — Horny Hands — Dif- 
ferent Directions — Only Three Fingers — 
A Military Salute — An Amusing Incident 
— The Silk Hat — Runaway Couples — From 
a Neighboring State. 

WHEN a widower of the laboring 
classes at the prime of his life is asked 
how long his wife has been dead, the 
answer will in numerous cases be : " She died a 
couple of months ago," and in not a few cases: 
"Some weeks ago." To many it may seem a 
conundrum how a man can marry so soon after 
having buried his wife. Such an untimely haste 
most people attribute to a lack of human feel- 
ing. The fact in most of such cases, however, 
is that circumstances are forcing the widower 
to re-enter a marriage in which he is so far 
from forgetting his first wife that, on the con- 
trary, often is he sadly reminded of her. The 
idea of giving his children a mother who can 
mind them, while he is at work, naturally enters 

(106) 



107 

his mind. He is a poor man, living from hand 
to mouth, consequently he can not afford to hire 
a house-keeper. During his wife's illness and 
subsequent death his neighbors did not omit to 
show their sympathy and practical help, but 
none of them are disposed to keep the children for 
any length of time.' For his neighbors also be- 
long to the working classes, and that class of 
people has most often a numerous flock of chil- 
dren and has plenty to do with earning the 
necessaries of life for them. The coming step- 
mother is not ignorant of the fact that her 
coming husband is marrying her for practical 
reasons. He has told her, in his plain way of 
giving information, that he does not expect her 
to be so good a wife as his first one. If she 
only will be good to the children she will gratify 
all his demands. Some weeks before the wed- 
ding she has inspected the household goods, she 
has taken a kind of stock and silently valued the 
inventory as critically as any assessor may do it. 
She has finally considered the pro and con of 
the offer made. Being no longer a young maiden, 
and knowing, besides, that he is a hard- 
working man, who by industry and strict econ- 
omy, has procured for himself the little house 
he is dwelling in, her practical sense recommends 



108 

her to accept the extended hand. And the ex- 
tended hand bears visible traces of belonging to 
a working-man. It is not only a large hand, 
but its palm is hard, and the original color of 
the flesh is relieved by a yellow-brown tint, 
such as only hard work can produce. . No soap 
can remove that color, it is as indelible as the 
tattoo of a sailor's hand. 

Most of the hands raised before the license 
clerk have pretty near the same color, for the 
majority of those who marry in Chicago are 
workmen. Off and on the soft hand may make 
its appearance. One of the fingers may be adorn- 
ed with a diamond ring, or a kid glove may betray 
its softness, but the aristocratic hands are in 
absolute minority. 

We are a democratic people, and to use an 
expression from the political parlance, we have 
here to deal with "the horny-handed masses." 
Consequently the raised hands will not always 
strike the most graceful positions. Sometimes 
the whole arm will go up to its full length, tak- 
ing a strong direction to the right, thereby 
forming an obtuse angle with the right side of 
the chest. Or it may take an out-going direc- 
tion toward the clerk, or a straight vertical di- 
rection without forming any angle at all. The 



109 

hand may also be firmly closed, a fact easily 
accounted for, the applicant having his money 
— that is, the dollar and a half which is to pay 
for the license — in it. If suddenly seized by a 
feeling of propriety he may drop its contents 
right in front of him, simultaneously drooping 
his head so as to keep an eye on the money. 
The fingers not seldom being rather stiff, he 
may have some trouble with keeping them 
gathered. 

With laborers from Protestant Europe it is a 
rather common habit to raise only the three 
fingers, a symbol of the trinity. In the middle 
ages many legends were circulated setting forth 
how badly those fared who committed perjury 
while, with their three fingers raised, they called 
the trinity as witness to their telling the truth 
and nothing else. The fingers of such sinners 
were said to turn black for the rest of their 
natural lives, they had to wander amongst their 
fellow beings with an outward sign of the curse, 
marked for life in a like manner as Cain after 
he had killed his brother, only that his mark 
was located on a still more conspicuous part of 
his body. 

Although it must be taken for granted that 
people nowadays do not believe that fingers will 



110 

turn black because of swearing to a falsehood, 
knowing that the reason of black fingers must 
be sought in some very natural causes, yet the 
traditional habit is kept up. It may sometimes 
be a little difficult to separate the thumb and 
the little finger from the rest, for as premised 
above, workingmen's ringers are naturally not 
elastic. In cases where an applicant deems it 
necessary to raise only the three, while the two 
others have a strong inclination to follow the 
upward movement, he may take his left hand 
to assist him. It was a rather comical spectacle, 
where a groom's sweetheart came to his rescue, 
holding on his two ringers while he was sworn. 
To move the hand gracefully is, however, not 
so easy a thing, no matter whether the hand is 
horny or soft. There are people who never 
learn to hold their hands in a position corres- 
ponding to that of the body. Innumerable are 
those who do not know what to do with their 
hands. Men having done military service in 
one of the European armies will frequently, 
when asked to raise their hands to be sworn, 
lead their gathered fingers to their right tem- 
ples, giving the oath a military and not unbe- 
coming salute. This is particularly the case 
with men who have served in the Swedish army. 



Ill 

They salute fn taking the oath in the same man- 
ner as they used to salute the flag of their 
country. 

The verification of a statement by an oath 
may so confuse an inexperienced applicant that 
he at that moment does not know the difference 
between his right and left hand. When his at- 
tention is called to the mistake he will lift his 
right hand, but sometimes forget to lower his 
left that has been raised already, and a clerk 
will then enjoy the spectacle of a man with both 
hands erect, solemnly declaring that his state- 
ment is correct. 

Not long ago a rather amusing incident hap- 
pened. A young man of anything but a pre- 
possessing appearance applied for a license. 
When asked to raise his hand, both went up, 
and he struck a position of suspicious characters 
when caught by the police and searched at the 
station. It was later found out that he really 
was a notorious person who, in raising both 
hands or arms, followed the force of habit. He 
is now doing time in the penitentiary. 

As the soft hand, the silk hat seldom makes 
its appearance at the window. A democratic 
society has no use for silk hats, not even on 
solemn occasions, as, for instance, a funeral. 



112 

And yet this head-gear is now more generally 
used in Chicago than ten years ago. The spor- 
adic appearance of the " stove-pipe " always 
creates a certain interest as a change. Most 
frequently people coming to Chicago from other 
cities to marry wear such a hat in preference to 
a slouch hat or a stiff Derby hat. Perhaps the 
cause of this phenomenon may be explained by 
those people's natural wish of showing their re- 
spect to the famous city, or perhaps they are 
trying to make a good impression on the na- 
tives. 

Gentlemen from outside cities are often ac- 
companied by their ladies, and come early in 
the morning before the window. It is easily 
discovered that they do not belong to Chicago, 
being dressed in traveling costumes. They may 
express a wish of being waited on as soon as 
possible as they want to take the next train. 
They come directly from the railway station 
and are in a hurry to get married. The great 
hurry is always a suspicious sign, and a license 
clerk of some experience will, in most instances, 
not be long in discovering that he has to do 
with a runaway couple. They have come to 
Chicago, the Eldorado of runaway couples, al- 
ways willing to render a hospitable shelter to 



113 

all young and energetic people loving each 
other. The young girl — for she is invariably 
young, no old eloping maid being on record — 
may sometimes betray a little nervousness, but 
not coming across a detective, and no telegram 
from " the old folks " directing the clerk to 
stop the further development of their erotic re- 
lation being on file in the office, she will soon 
regain her composure, and the two will smil- 
ingly disappear to be made one by the nearest 
justice of the peace. 

Some days after we may read in the papers 
a very romantic story of the love of the eloped 
people that had nearly been wrecked by the 
objections of the dear parents. The good for- 
tune had, however, followed the brave. The 
paternal wrath had subsided, giving way to 
milder feelings, and what looked so sad at the 
outset had turned to be a most joyful event. 
Children and parents are reconciled and united 
once more. 

As a matter of course not all young people 
who come to Chicago to get married have 
eloped from their homes. In manifold cases 
they make our city their rendezvous place. He 
may be a Californian gentleman, and she a 
Maine lady, meeting each other half way with- 

Marriag-e License Window. 8. 



114 

out any objections from parents or other rela- 
tions. There is no doubt that Chicago is a 
great centre for marriages, thanks to our great 
railroad system. 

Here is a couple from one of our neighboring 
states. He is about forty, and she has just 
passed thirty-six. They do not want their 
neighbors to know anything about the matri- 
monial union until the wedding is over. This 
particular couple was, perhaps, the most curious 
that ever took out a license. None of them 
understood a word of English. This in itself 
is not so remarkable, but what made their case 
so irresistibly comical was that neither of them 
understood each other. He was a jolly Ger- 
man farmer, robust and cheerful and with a 
good, honest face. She was less smiling, about 
five feet and five inches tall, and with a certain 
matronly dignity. The conversation was kept 
up in German with him, but when she was 
asked some questions in the same language, she 
shook her head thereby denoting that she was 
not at home in the German vocabulary. Laugh- 
ing heartily he explained that they did not un- 
derstand each other. He had met her on the 
state-fair ground, where he took in a show. A 
friend of his who understood Norwegian had 



115 

called his attention to her. The friend had 
acted as interpreter, and after having paid her 
some visits in her home he had proposed and 
she had accepted Of course the interpreter 
had translated or explained both the proposal 
and acceptance. Nearly five years ago he had 
lost his wife, and his present partner for weal or 
woe was a widow for about the same length of 
time. The old fellow appeared to be of a very 
logical mind. 

" It may seem, Mr. Clerk,'' he said, "that a 
union between man and wife, not understanding 
each other's language, is a very ridiculous act. 
Mayhap it is so; but then you must remember 
the reverse of the case. M37 first wife was a 
good soul, God bless her; she had but one 
fault, she talked too much, and I understood 
every word she said. When I asked her to 
stop her talking, she would commence in ear- 
nest, and I would get a little angry. Now, this 
woman has no understanding of my language, 
and I do not know hers. There will be no pro- 
vocation from either side for scolding each 
other in a language we both understand. Of 
course by and by I will learn her my language, 
for I am aware that perfect silence may be a 
little tedious in the length of time, and, besides, 



116 

it is not always handy. But you must admit 
that the talking in a family is what too often 
creates disturbances. She will commence, and 
he will retaliate, and as she will not allow him 
the last word, their conversation may end in 
various troubles." 

He looked at her, and she laughed and spoke 
in her own tongue. She would never have ac- 
cepted his marriage proposal if she had not 
learned from a most reliable source that he was 
a more than usually genial man. She knew 
him to be a well-to-do farmer with no children. 
She would help him in the field, for she hap- 
pened to know a little about farming herself. 
She thought that they would get happily along, 
their reciprocal defects of linguistic knowledge 
notwithstanding. She would soon pick up that 
much of German necessary to understand each 
other. She was not in the slightest degree 
afraid of the future. They left the office apar- 
ently happy, and with the good intention to 
soothe each other's days, happen what might. 



CHAPTER XIII. 



Not in a Hurry — Many Excuses — A Gratified 
Demand — Suppressing — Delicate Cases — 
The License List — Exceptions — A Surpris- 
ing Question — A Queer Groom — Closely 
Watched — Demands on the Memory — In- 
terrogation — Many Names — A Colored 
Philosopher — A Practical Man — Good 
Until Used — Unhappy Girls. 

NOT all are in such a hurry as an eloped pair 
may be ; on the contrary, there are persons 
who patiently will wait until a crowd has 
disappeared with the object of being alone at the 
window. For nearly an hour they will stand in a 
corner, and, in approaching the clerk, will turn 
round to ascertain that nobody is near. Here 
is an example of that category. He is a man 
in his thirties, of middle height, well dressed, 
with keen eyes but somewhat nervous. He signs 
his name and gives his age. She is his junior 
by some years. 

" Yes," he says with a little trembling in 

(i 17) 



118 

his voice, "she has been married before; she is 
a widow, her name is Miss R ." 

"But I understood you to say that she is a 
widow? " 

" Yes, she is in a certain way, but by a spe- 
cial decree she got the permit to resume her 
maiden name." 

The conception of the real fact is now clear 
to the mind of the clerk ; her " deceased " hus- 
band is only dead to her, it is a figurative de- 
mise, and his own living self may be seen pacing 
the streets of Chicago, or some other place in 
the universe, perhaps contemplating another 
matrimonial union. 

"Yes, she is a grass widow, Mr. Clerk," and 
bending over the desk he asks in a whisper if 
there are any means by which the license may 
be suppressed from publication. Having learned 
that it is not within the power of a clerk to pre- 
vent the publication, the records being under all 
circumstances public property, he hesitates a 
little while. In resuming the conversation he 
wants to know if it is so that no license is re- 
quired in the states of Wisconsin or Michigan. 
The affirmative answer seems greatly to en- 
courage him. Making many excuses for the 
trouble he has made, and courteously thanking 



119 

the clerk for the information he has got he puts 
his hand to his vest pocket and inquires how 
much is due. Upon learning that all reasonable 
questions asked in a public office are answered 
without any remuneration he bows politely, and 
walks toward the door. Suddenly he stops, 
something entering his mind, and he returns to 
the window where some new customer is ad- 
dressing the clerk. In waving his hand he de- 
notes that he is not in a hurry, but has plenty 
of time. Being once more alone with the clerk 
he says: 

" Mr. Clerk, I hope that you will not betray 
the little secret between you and I to the re- 
porters, not for my sake, for I do not care so 
much, but my lady is rather sensitive in such 
matters." 

Having received the assurance that his fear 
is without ground, he extends his most pro- 
found gratitude, and finally leaves the office 
where he has spent a full hour. 

It is not uncommon that men marrying di- 
vorced women seem to feel a little bashful for 
reasons only known to themselves. If possible 
they will pass them off as widows, and in nu- 
merous instances they try to avoid the publica- 
tion of the names. In regard to this latter 



120 

point there is no room for doubt but that a gen- 
eral voting among applicants would show the 
majority to be in favor of not having their 
names published in the papers. Manifold are 
the reasons why the publication is sought to be 
avoided. 

Here is a young man with a host of friends 
and acquaintances. They would all like to 
have a little fun with their friend on the eve of 
his giving up his bachelor life, but that kind of 
fun is not always inexpensive; the friends are 
to be treated, and the young man cannot afford it. 
If only the publication can be postponed until 
after the marriage is over, he is satisfied. He 
wants a private wedding. 

Here is another young man; he is working 
in the same shop with the girl he is going to 
wed. Nobody knows that the two are engaged, 
and if the boss should find out that they are 
married, one of them at least would be sure of 
discharge; for the boss is a man of principles, 
one of which is that husband and wife must not 
work in the same shop. 

Here is a man with a profound knowledge 
of the characteristics of the rising generation of 
his neighborhood. Learning that he is on the 
threshold of married life they will immediately 



121 

meet in a caucus, deliberating how they best can 
procure the indispensable oyster cans and other 
similar paraphernalia wherewith to regale their 
friend with an old-fashioned charivari, promul- 
gating far and wide the accomplishment of his 
marriage. 

Applicant A. wishes to celebrate the day 
without being honored with the presence of his 
mother-in-law. Applicant B. has some years 
ago introduced his girl as his wife in many re- 
spectable families; he does not wish to shake 
the belief of the neighborhood. If the true re- 
lations were revealed a great scandal would be 
the consequence. Applicant C. has already 
half-grown children who never must suspect 
their illegitimate birth. Their parents com- 
menced their living together with no matri- 
mony in view, but their offspring has fastened 
the relation, and being in good financial cir- 
cumstances, and, besides, rather old, the will 
has to be made. Applicant D. is aristocratic, 
and does not wish his name amongst a lot of 
"foreigners' " names. Applicant E. is about to 
marry his divorced wife, and can not see the 
necessity of having his name published. It was 
in the papers ten years ago, he explains. Be- 
sides there are instances where the applicant 



122 

asks the suppression because of a sudden death 
in the family. The father or mother-in-law died 
just some weeks ago, but the wedding they do 
not like to postpone, for it is the general opinion 
that the postponement of a wedding forebodes 
an unlucky future for the contracting parties. 

While some of the reasons are sometimes 
rather flimsy, there are others presenting such 
touching pretexts that a request to avoid pub- 
licity is fully justified. Here, for instance, is a 
young girl who, on a cold winter evening, just 
as the office was going to be closed, paused a 
moment before expressing her wish to obtain a 
license, for she was evidently greatly excited. 
She signed her name with a shaking hand, and 
had no sooner finished her writing than she 
burst out in a loud sobbing. Having recovered 
a little she explained that the man she was go- 
ing to marry within the next hour was at the 
point of death. A disease has settled on his 
lungs, and there was no doubt but that the end 
was near. The very same day she had asked 
the attending physician if the patient could be 
saved. He had at first given her an evasive 
answer, but finally told her the truth. Two, or 
if it came high, three short days, and the ebbing 
life would cease forever. The dying man was 



123 

fully conscious of his condition, and had ex- 
pressed his wish to be married to the young girl 
that she might fall heir to the little property he 
left. Her wish to have their names suppressed 
from publication was granted. Some days after 
the license was returned by a minister, and a 
death certificate, the sad corroboration of her 
story, followed within a couple of weeks. 

Finally there are the very delicate cases 
where sensuality has overpowered love. In 
behalf of the young girl her mother will make 
her appearance, and she will plead the case of 
her daughter as only a mother can plead. There 
is no way of avoiding such a mother, and it 
matters little that a clerk declines to get an in- 
sight in the deep secrets of the family. He has 
to listen to the mother's open and candid con- 
fessions. Under a torrent of tears she will ap- 
peal to his sympathetic feelings, if he is endowed 
with such. She will ask him if he is a married 
man, and, if this proves to be the case, she will 
button-hole him, entreat him and beseech him 
to save the family from humiliation. She will 
warn him to watch his daughters, lest a similar 
calamity shall befall them, and she will wind up 
with a prayer-like request to keep the license 
from publication. Very naively she may ask if 



124 

it could not be so arranged that the license be 
ante-dated half a year or so. She cannot com- 
prehend that the cash book and license record 
must correspond. A letter from the spiritual 
adviser of the family is sometimes the last 
weapon resorted to. The clerk is respectfully 
asked to prevent the publication of the names, 
provided such a step is not interfering with his 
duties as a public officer. 

There is no law providing that names of per- 
sons taking out marriage licenses shall be given 
to the public press, but the access to public re- 
cords is open to all, and, as a matter of course, 
not closed to the representatives of the press. 
Some of our Chicago papers have suspended the 
publishing of the marriage license list, but most 
of them have retained it, perhaps to the gratifi- 
cation of their female readers, who would highly 
miss the list if it did not appear. 

After all it must be admitted that the list is 
not absolutely without advantages. The for- 
eign-born element scrutinizes it closely and will 
often come across a name (vainly sought for in 
the directory) that it is of special interest to 
meet again. Undoubtedly there are instances 
where the exclusion of a name would by no 
means diminish the esthetic enjoyment of the 



125 

list at the morning coffee, while the publication 
of such a name may unnecessarily increase the 
painfullness of a situation that rather ought to re- 
main a family secret. The surety of the publica- 
tionhas in not afew instances led to grave offences. 
People have transposed their names or they 
have given false names and changed these on the 
license before they presented it to the clergyman. 

As we all know, there are no rules in exist- 
ence without exceptions. Some applicants will 
ask the clerk to see that their and their brides' 
names are inserted in all the papers, and who 
innocently will ask how much they have to pay 
extra for such an advertisement. A most sur- 
prising question was once asked by a middle- 
aged man. 

" Does the governor of this state read the 
Chicago papers? " he queried. 

Impressed by the belief that the governor of 
Illinois can not be without Chicago papers, the 
answer was given accordingly. The applicant 
then explained that he had promised to let 
said high authority know when he got married, 
a step which he, the applicant, considered as an 
evidence of being on the right path. Without 
any further explanation he handed the clerk a 
document, the headline of which read : 



126 

" State of Illinois. Executive Department. Shelby 
M. Cullom, Governor of Illinois." Then followed: 
" Know ye, that in Pursuance of Section 5, of an Act of 
the General Assembly, entitled " An act to allow Con- 
victs in the Penitentiary a credit in diminution of their 
sentences, and for their being restored to citizenship 
upon certain conditions," approved March 19th, 1872, 
and agreeable to the Statement of the Warden of the 
Penitentiary as provided in the Act aforesaid, 

I, Shelby M. Cullom, Governor of the State of Illi- 
nois, do hereby restore {^nomina odiosa sunt) to 

all his Rights of Citizenship which may have been for- 
feited by his conviction of the crime of larceny " 

The man got his license, but he also wanted 
his full citizen's papers. Pointing to the words 
" Rights of Citizenship " he said he was entitled 
to them. Asked to produce his Declaration of 
Intention paper he explained that he had none, 
and having passed a little examination it was 
found out that the fellow was under the impression 
that by virtue of his pardon he was entitled to 
become a full fledged citizen of the United 
States. 

It took some time to make him understand 
that a term in the penitentiary does not lead to 
citizenship of the Union, while a pardon of a 
citizen from said institution invested him with 
all his former rights, entitling him to vote and 
to be voted for. Being satisfied that he was 



127 

mistaken he took the initiative step to become 
a citizen, and once more he handed his pardon 
over the counter remarking that it had lost its 
charm to him. He left it on the desk; he would 
not touch a document that reminded him of the 
dark days of his existence. To convince the 
clerk of his uprightness he told him that his 
coming wife had a full knowledge of his former 
life. He was a practical defender of the good 
principle, that between husband and wife no 
secrets should exist. 

As premised above, the marriage license list 
is closely watched by the gentler sex. Ladies 
will come to the window and ask the clerk to 
be kind enough to tell them whether Mr. so and 
so took out a license some days ago, or they 
want some information in regard to Mr. Smith, 
whose name appeared in yesterday's issues. 
When told to step inside and look for them- 
selves they will smilingly explain that they do 
not understand how to search a record, but 
they have plenty of time, and express their 
willingness to wait until the clerk is at leisure. 
Too often it is mere curiosity that brings ladies 
to the office to find out whether it is true what 
rumor told the other day in regard to Miss N. 
Rumor had it that Miss N. had been secretly 



128 

married The ladies can not approximate the 
time the wedding took place, but if she is mar- 
ried at all it must have been within the last year. 

Not long ago three ladies stepped into the of- 
fice as a delegation for a circle of their sex. 
They had been in a party some evenings before, 
and their conversation had turned upon Mr. 
George. None of the party had seen him, the 
Lord knows how long! It would be quite in- 
teresting to find out whether he is married or not. 
Oh dear, it is a very easy thing; to-morrow Mag- 
gie, Mary and myself will go to the clerk's office. 
They will have to look it up for us, you know, 
they are paid for it. The delegation gave a very 
minute description of George's age and resi- 
dence, but no such George could be found. Some 
days after the delegation re-appeared, this time 
equipped with still better details. George was 
married in Indiana to Miss Jones. When told 
that marriages in Indiana are not recorded in 
Chicago, the ladies were highly surprised. They 
thought it necessary for a resident of Chicago 
to take out a license here, even though the mar- 
riage took place in some other state. 

Sometimes a direct demand is put to the 
memory of the clerk. The license list contained 
the name of Joe the other day. There is 



129 

of course no doubt that he is the identical Mr. 

Joe whom the ladies know so well, and 

they may now account for his melancholy ap- 
pearance. They wonder who Miss Anna may 
be — let us ask the clerk. Subsequently two 
ladies, who take upon themselves to ferret out 
the particulars, put in their appearance in the 
office on a day when they are shopping together. 
The lady acting as spokesman, after some in- 
troductory remarks or excuses, asks if Miss 

Anna was in company with Joe when the 

license was taken out. The clerk remembers it 
distinctly. 

" Perhaps you remember how she looked? " 

" Yes, she was a lady of middle height, with 
voluptuous lips and black, curly hair." 

"Was she of dark complexion? " 
■ Rather so, but not darker or perhaps so dark 
as some of her race." 

"What was that?" 

" As a colored lady Miss Anna was not of 
the darkest shade." 

" A colored lady ! Mr. clerk, you must cer- 
tainly be mistaken. Joe would never 

marry a colored girl." 

"Why not, he was certainly fully as dark as 
she." 

Marriage License Window. 9. 



130 

"Joe black! Well, Mr. clerk, then he 

is not the Joe of our acquaintance." 

With blushing cheeks the ladies stammer 
many excuses, and hasten out of the office. 

A great deal of interrogation is made on both 
sides of the license window. There are people 
who think that all that ends on " license " is is- 
sued from the license clerk's stand. One will 
demand a dog license, another a peddler's li- 
cense, or a license to drive a hack or a milk 
wagon, or to sell liquors at wholesale, or tobac- 
co at retail. The department of naturalization 
being in charge of the marriage license clerk 
some people will ask for a " city license," by 
which is understood the Declaration of Intention 
paper. Hardly any other public document is 
called by more names than this. It is named 
"civilization paper," "city paper," the "first 
citizen's paper," the "first voting paper," the 
"first paper," "declaration paper," "republic 
paper," the " first American paper," and still 
more names. 

It happens frequently that the same person 
declares his intention to become a citizen of the 
United States and a husband at the same time. 
The more direct questions pertaining to the 
conditions necessary in order to procure a license 



131 

are often followed by the question: " When are 
we allowed to make use of the permit to wed," 
or as to how long its validity runs? It is not 
so generally known, as we might presume it was, 
that the applicants may immediately make use 
of the permit or that they may wait till the day 
of their death, even if that day should not come 
until fifty years after the issuing of the license. 
People often confound these facts with the printed 
instructions on the back of each license provid- 
ing that " the minister, judge or justice of the 
peace, shall, within thirty days after such mar- 
riage has been solemnized, make a certificate 
thereof, and return the same to the clerk of the 
county in which the marriage took place, or to 
his successor in 06106." 

Not few are the instances where the contract- 
ing parties have had the license in their posses- 
sion for five, six, nay, even ten years, until they 
finally made up their mind to unite in wedlock. 
Still more frequent are the instances where a 
license is never made use of. Misunderstand- 
ing the printed instructions he will bring it back 
within thirty days after it is issued, and on his 
own accord he explains the reasons of the re- 
turn. The girl has reconsidered the mutual 
agreement, or to speak in the highly modern 



132 

parlance, " she has gone back on him," or " she 
has backed out." Usually the clerk is asked to 
strike the names off the record. Girls may 
sometimes carry their joke a little too far, as 
for instance was the case in relation to a colored 
gentleman, who, however, proved to be a phi- 
losopher that would have done credit to his 
ancient brothers of the stoic school. 

He told how faithfully he had loved that girl, 
and how cruelly she had handled his once so 
tender heart. Everything was arranged, the 
rooms were rented, the day was named, the 
furniture bought for cash, the wedding cake on 
the table, the guests invited, and the clergyman 
notified, when she suddenly backed out, declar- 
ing that she was going to marry somebody else. 
She did not tell him so in a letter elegantly 
worded, nor did she allow him to enter the house. 
Having locked the street door, she opened a 
window and told him in plain language that the 
engagement was broken. "But, Mr. clerk," 
he added, " in spite of this sad defeat, I consider 
myself to-day a happy man. For suppose we 
had been married, what good could result of 
such a matrimony? It is far better as it is, and 
I thank God that He prevented me from being 
her husband." He did not complain of the 



133 

treatment to which he had been subjected. — 
Extending his hearty sympathy to the colored 
philosopher, a young man, who happened to be 
at the window, asked if it was so that the girl 
had appropriated everything, including the wed- 
ding cake. " Indeed, that girl took everything 
— she took the cake." 

The cause of breach of promise, as a matter 
of course, is not always to be laid to the femi- 
nine side. A good illustration of a person hunt- 
ing for a practical wife was a not very old man 
who within six weeks took out three licenses. 
The two first girls he had put to a test they 
could not stand. The first one did not under- 
stand how to darn his stockings, and the second 
could not cook his meals to his satisfaction. 
When asked why he had not examined their 
qualifications before he took out the licenses, he 
simply explained that he had taken their word 
for it, until a friend of his had advised him to 
see for himself, but they did not stand the ex- 
amination. The third one, whom he married, 
was, according to his notions, an ideal girl, 
possessing a combination of two said perfections. 
Sometimes the license is returned by very un- 
happy girls. The man in the case is a libertine 
of the most abominable sort. Most likely he 



134 

won her affection under an assumed name. The 
unhappy victim was impressed with the idea 
that the issuing of the license is all that is neces- 
sary to constitute a legitimate marriage. Of 
course he has left her, and she is perfectly con- 
vinced that he is far away from Chicago. She 
does not know what his business is, in fact, she 
never asked him. They have only lived to- 
gether a month or so, and it was not until one 
of her friends called her attention to the blank 
certificate attached to the license that her sus- 
picion was aroused. Girls born in America 
seldom or never are deceived in such a manner. 
They know what a license means, and they 
know it long before they have reached the age 
of twenty -five years. 



CHAPTER XIV 



Intricate and Plain Questions — Silent Appli- 
cants — Loquacious Candidates — A Jail 
Marriage — Compulsion. 

THE questions are sometimes very intricate, 
so that it takes a clerk a little while ere he 
can answer them, and they are not unlike 
the riddles put to the middleman in a minstrel 
troup. For instance, a young marriageable 
man, attentively listened to by a crowd of ap- 
plicants, asked: "Mr. clerk, my mother was 
married to my father, and soon after my birth 
they were divorced. Later on my father mar- 
ried a sister of my mother. My aunt then be- 
came my mother, and my mother, after some 
time, was married to a brother of my father, 
consequently she became my aunt. The fruit 
of the latter marriage was a daughter whom I 
wish to marry. I know that cousins may inter- 
marry, but before I take out a license I wish to 
inquire." The young man showed the utmost 
consternation when he learned that the laws of 

(135) 



136 

any civilized country consider such matrimonial 
unions as illegal and invalid. 

Less intricate was the following question put 
by another young man apparently in good faith. 
He stood in a dense crowd of working-men, each 
waiting to obtain a license, and raising his hand 
he said: "Mr. clerk, excuse my interfering 
with you in your business, and you, gentlemen, 
excuse my taking your time for a moment. I only 
wish to be informed whether it is allowed in this 
country for a man to marry his widow's sister." 

" Yes, it is allowed here and in all civilized 
countries of whose habits and customs we have 
any knowledge, if such a thing were possible." 

" I beg your pardon, not in. England, where 
this particular question has been debated in 
parliament." 

No sooner had the young man put his ques- 
tion than the crowd burst out in a loud laugh, 
and one of them took upon himself to correct 
the ambiguous question. 

"You are off," he explained, "cannot you 
understand that a man wishing to marry his 
widow's sister must be dead? Of course you 
meant to ask whether a widower in this country 
can marry the sister of his first wife. Of course 
he can, and that is just what I am going to do." 



137 

The young man, blushing like a young girl 
who, in passing a remark betraying the feelings 
of her heart, suddenly discovers her blunder, 
rushed to the door. Another in the crowd was 
willing to bet that the young man had crossed 
the Ocean for the very purpose of getting an 
answer to his question. 

" I wish to know whether or not I am a mar- 
ried woman," queried a rather young female in 
a voice evidently indicating that she was asking 
the question in full earnest. She was tall, at 
least five feet eight, very muscular, broad- 
shouldered, and with a profusion of flax-colored 
hair. There was fire in her eyes, and tears in 
her voice, when she, having paved her way to 
the clerk's enclosure, was seated, though not* 
comfortably, in the largest chair of the office, 
and repeated her question : "Am I a married 
woman? " Telling her that the meaning of the 
question not being sufficiently intelligible to 
justify a definite answer, she produced her mar- 
riage license, issued in the office some time be- 
fore. The names were correct, the ages like- 
wise, but the attached certificate was signed by 
a man in his capacity as a notary public, and 
furnished with his official seal. When told 
that a notary has no authority to perform a 



138 

marriage ceremony, her suspicion was further- 
more aroused. She considered herself shame- 
fully deceived. " Of course," she said, " it was 
nothing more nor less than a sham wedding." 
She had not informed her husband of her inten- 
tion to seek information in the clerk's office, but 
she had seen his lawyer who, mirabile dictu, 
had told her that she was a legitimately mar- 
ried woman. When she left the office, she went 
to the lawyer who soon made his appearance 
before the license window. After some talking 
he peremptorily demanded the marriage of said 
couple put on record. He held that the right 
of marrying people was not limited to clergy- 
men, judges, justices of the peace, or secretaries 
of religious, chartered societies. Any person, 
though he may be a tailor, shoemaker, carpen- 
ter and so on, had the right to perform the cere- 
mony, he claimed. He was not willing to ad- 
mit that the right of performing a wedding 
ceremony was regulated by certain statutes of 
the laws of Illinois. Without succeeding in 
convincing the clerk, he left the office, but only 
to return some few minutes after with " Black- 
stone " and a pile of other authorities under his 
arm. This time he would not speak to the 
marriage license clerk, but went to the county 



139 

clerk himself, of whom he, however, failed to 
make a convert. In the meantime the man in 
the case appeared on the scene. His wife, no 
longer making a secret of her visit to the clerk's 
office, had urged him to see the matter straight- 
ened. Somewhat excited he asked to be in- 
formed whether he was a married man. 

" Of course you are," said the lawyer. 

" And will my marriage be on record? " 

" Not until the proper authorities have ruled 
that notaries can legally perform the ceremony," 
was the answer 

The very same day the notary in question 
politely asked the clerk's ear for a private con- 
versation. He commenced his explanation by 
the statement that he was a veteran who would 
rather fight the enemy in an open battle than 
go through another ordeal like that he had ex- 
perienced with the couple he had married. He 
did not exactly know the limits of a notary's 
function in this state, but he was under the im- 
pression that in some states notaries had the 
privilege of ratifying marriages. No great 
harm, however, was done, for besides being a 
notary he was also a minister of the gospel. 
Here the man produced a document for further 
inspection. It was a certificate of ordination, 



140 

issued by a chartered, religio-philosophical so- 
ciety in San Francisco, setting forth that Mr. 
B. had passed the examination as a spiritualistic 
minister, entitling him to preach the gospel of 
Christ, and to perform all the functions con- 
nected with his office. Having issued a certifi- 
cate in his capacity as a minister, the marriage 
was finally put on record to the satisfaction of 
all parties, with the exception, perhaps, of the 
lawyer who expressed a wish to make a test of 
the case in the courts. 

While many are asking questions, there are, 
on the other hand, such applicants who not only 
avoid all questions, but prefer to keep as silent 
as possible, and only answer reluctantly or let 
somebody else give the answer. This state- 
ment does not relate to those whom a sad fate 
has deprived of the gift of talking fluently, and 
who consequently stutter, but to those whom 
the laws force into the blessed state of matri- 
mony. He presents a very sad spectacle, the 
young man who, against his own free will, by 
the majesty of the law, is told to marry the girl 
he does not love, but who, nevertheless, is on 
her way to become a mother. In company with 
a police officer, or a constable, or a clerk in a 
justice court, he appears before the license 



141 

window about ten minutes after the magistrate 
has rendered his verdict. The victim of his 
ungoverned passions is not absolutely obliged 
to submit to the verdict, but his protest will de- 
prive him of his liberty, and he will have to oc- 
cupy a cell in the county jail. Some days' 
meditation in such an abode where the horizon 
is so disagreeably limited, the air so heavy, and 
the surroundings so little luxurious or comfort- 
able, seldom or never fails to call forth a com- 
plete surrender. He knows he is leaping from 
Scylla to Charybdis, but he dares the leap for 
the sake of fresh air and the dear, individual 
liberty. The wedding is performed in the jus- 
tice court or within the walls of the prison*, a 
constable or clerk acting as best man. Asked 
the name of his prospective wife, the candidate 
against his will pretends not to know it, or, 
perhaps, he is ignorant of it, and he is not bet- 
ter posted in regard to her age. His compan- 
ion, however, has the answers ready on hand, 
he knows them by heart, or will read them 
from a slip of paper. Taken in all, the groom 
has very little trouble in obtaining a license. 
Even the fee is usually paid by his official com- 
panion, who got it from the girl or her nearest 

♦According to a recently adopted law, marriages can no longer 
be contracted in jail. 



142 

relations. For most frequently the groom owns 
nothing, he is absolutely penniless. The little 
sum he had before he came in trouble has been 
devoured by his lawyer. If that gentleman has 
not succeeded in getting it all, the balance is 
spent to make less rigorous his fate in the jail. 
He may consume a vast quantity of tobacco in 
any form or shape, or he may buy a more pala- 
table food than that allowed by the bill of fare 
of the prison. The prospects for the nearest 
future are not in any particular degree bright. 
The case against him having come to public 
knowledge through the instrumentality of the 
press, he feels ashamed of going back to his 
former shop where his comrades may use him 
as a target for their sarcasms and jokes. Be- 
sides, his old boss may not feel inclined to take 
him back as a married man. 

Not concealing their earnest intentions can- 
didates in a more loquacious mood will some- 
times lay open their future plans. As soon as 
they are married they will bid good-bye to 
their wives. If she goes to the right, he will go 
to the left, or if she should prefer the left side, 
he will choose the right one. He will by no 
means live with her. He will show the world 
that compulsion does not compel. In some 



143 

instances the candidate may utter a dreadful 
doubt as to his exclusive mortgage in the pa- 
ternity. 

That matrimonial unions of such a character 
are not fortunate, either to the contracting par- 
ties or to society, little doubt may be enter- 
tained. Naturally compulsory marriages may 
be judged from different points of view, but our 
justices adhere strictly to the letter of the laws. 
And yet there are cases where mercy would not 
be out of place. The institution of compulsory 
marriage is resting upon the laws of morality. 
In this country we argue that the entire respon- 
sibility is with the man whom nature is said to 
have vested with a greater share of will-power, 
while the woman, with her weaker power of 
resistance, will more easily fall a prey to the 
seducer. In most of the old societies they look 
upon this matter in a different light, both par- 
ties there being considered equally responsible, 
hence compulsion is not in vogue; but he, if he 
is a single man and his circumstances will allow 
it, is paying an alimony to support the child un- 
til it is confirmed or has reached the age of 
maturity. The ages of the parties we have not 
taken into consideration, and it is an open ques- 
tion whether a man of twenty-three can entice 



144 

a woman of thirty-two. A philosopher might, per- 
haps, give an answer in the negative, but one of our 
justices, who for all that may be a philosopher, 
has answered that question in the affirmative, and 
consequently the marriage took place. 

It is not always the case that the poor sinner 
enters the office accompanied alone with the offi- 
cial functionary. Not seldom the wife-to-be and 
his future mother-in-law appear to convince them- 
selves that the sentence is properly carried out. 
The sister of the bride may also be present and 
give her brother-in-law a lesson on the text, "no 
rights without duties." Finally a clerk may 
be offered an opportunity of seeing the being 
whose premature entering in this sinful world 
has been the direct occasion for this matrimony. 
The grand-mother or aunt is rocking the infant 
in her arms, and he or she, as the case may be, 
has no hesitancy in testing the strength of its 
lungs. The child is not susceptible of argu- 
ments in any form or shape, showing no appar- 
ent joy at being present at the wedding of its 
parents. 

A jail marriage that attracted a good deal of 
public attention was not long ago solemnized 
between a self-confessed embezzler and a woman 
of his acquaintance. The wedding took place 



145 

immediately before his departure to Joliet, to 
which institution he was sentenced for a term of 
five years. She took out the license without 
betraying any feeling of sorrow or shame, only 
remarking that he was prevented from coming 
himself. — A French judge, presiding in one of 
the criminal courts of his country, is said to have 
opened every trial before him with the remark: 
where is the woman? thereby intimating 
that a woman is at the bottom of all crim- 
inal cases. The evidence in this particular 
case did not point to his ruin by women, but 
after the trial it became evident that he had 
not been indifferent to the affection of the 
weaker sex. On his wedding-day he wrote a 
touching epistle to the girl to whom he was en- 
gaged, extending his grateful thanks for what 
she had been to him, breaking the engagement 
with the assurance of a continued celibate after 
the end of his term in the prison. An hour or 
so after, the ingrate was married to the girl who, 
as mentioned above, took out the license. 

It is a fact that the number of compulsory 
marriages is decreasing every year, that is, 
fewer cases of such a character are tried in the 
justice courts, as, perhaps, the constant readers 
of the reports from the lower courts will have 

Marriage License Window. 10. 



146 

noticed. From this mere fact, however, to 
jump to the conclusion that we have entered an 
era particularly adapted to restrain immoral 
propensities, would be illogical. The fact is 
simply, that while the parties concerned formerly 
pleaded their cases before a court magistrate, 
they now reveal their secrets to their spiritual 
advisers. The clergyman takes upon himself 
the function of a magistrate, his verdict is final, 
but he does not give it to the public press. On 
the contrary, he tries to keep the case as secret 
as possible. And the clergyman is right. At 
bridal festivals where the motives for the union 
are of a rather questionable character, the ex- 
clusion of representatives of the press is no in- 
sult to the public. 



CHAPTER XV. 



Applicants from Russian Poland — Hebrew Sig- 
natures — Jacob and Rachel — Celestial 

Marriages. 

CHICAGO would unjustly be denominated a 
cosmopolitan city, if representatives from 
the czar's powerful empire were not found 
amongst its large conglomeration of nationali- 
ties. The number of what may be termed ge- 
nuine Russians, however, is not very large, while 
the number of Russian or Russian-Polish He- 
brews, whom an imperial ukase has forced to 
take the course over the Atlantic, is propor- 
tionately rather large. Brought up in a semi- 
barbarian country, persecuted for the sake of 
their faith, without any chance to educate them- 
selves, and without coming in contact with an 
outward civilization, the Russian Hebrew forms 
a peculiar contrast to his brothers in civilized 
Europe or here in America. In the civilized 
world we find Hebrews in all avocations of life. 
They have able and honored representatives in 



148 

literature, poetry, music, science, the dramatic 
art, journalism, and in the commercial classes. 
But these Hebrews have nothing in common 
with the Russian Hebrews such as we find them 
here, forming a race of their own. 

He who from a long imprisonment in com- 
plete darkness suddenly steps out in the clear 
daylight will be dazzled, and it takes some time 
ere he gets accustomed to the rays of the sun. 
Naturally the Russian Hebrew, oppressed and 
treated as a dog in his native country, can not 
directly comprehend the institutions of America. 
It takes some time to realize the transition 
from the state of slavery to liberty. At the be- 
ginning he lives here in a kind of humble, tim- 
orous retirement. He is content with a small 
income, but by and by he is imbued with a feel- 
ing of independence, and being of a saving dis- 
position, he soon commences a little ambulant 
business, literally carrying his whole stock of 
goods with him. Or he will open a little store 
with cast-off clothing or second-hand goods of 
any description. Antiquated himself he seems 
to have a predilection for all that is old or half 
worn out. 

It is a general belief that Hebrews, above all 
other races, have an inborn business spirit, and 



149 

yet it is a historical fact that they originally 
were an agricultural people. Not until denied 
the right of possessing real estate, and excluded 
from all honorable livelihood they took a mer- 
cantile course, often representing the less refined 
branches of business. Successively, as they at- 
tained the rights of the citizens they lived 
amongst, they gave up the less reputable deal- 
ings. In the large European cities the pawn- 
broker business, for instance, has no attraction 
for Hebrews, now following avocations more 
congenial to their natural ability and tastes. 

The Russian Hebrew in Chicago is a very 
quiet and peaceful man. In the strictest sense 
of the word he is orthodox. To him there is 
but one Judaism, the one prescribed in the books 
of Moses. He is not susceptible of reforms, on the 
other hand he does not try to make proselytes, 
nor would any such effort avail him, for the 
educated Hebrew, wherever he is found in the 
universe, has to give up the antiquated forms 
based upon laws given to the people as a nation 
more than three thousand years ago. He has 
preserved the physiognomy and the peculiarities 
of his race, a fact easily explained when it is 
borne in mind that he never chooses his wife 
outside of his own race. Aware of belonging 



150 

to a people that for the sake of an unjust and 
barbarian judicial act has been suffering perse- 
cution for centuries, he makes the impression of 
a hunted deer. He is restless in his manners, 
humble in his bearings, as, however, is natural 
with a man having constantly been living in 
fear that the Russian knout should fall heavily 
upon his shoulder and back. 

The Russian or Russian-Polish Hebrew is 
usually between twenty-five and thirty years old 
when he applies for a marriage license. The 
slavish deference a despotic regime absolutely 
demands of the lower classes has made its deep 
marks in all his bearings. Long before he has 
reached the doo^ of the office he may uncover 
his head. Sometimes he knocks at the door 
patiently waiting until somebody makes him 
understand that any one is allowed to step in 
without any further ceremony. And being on 
the other side of the threshold he may stand 
back at a respectful distance from the counter, 
looking at his girl, and conversing with her un- 
til they finally take courage and make known 
their wishes. Can he write his name? That 
question can not be answered in an ordinary 
way, for he both can and can not. He can not 
sign it in English or Gothic letters, but he 



151 

certainly can in Hebrew. He is ignorant of all 
that has happened in the history of the world, 
nor is he familiar with the historical events of 
our days. But he knows the deadest of all dead 
languages, he is at home in Hebrew. 

Amongst that class of Hebrews we may 
come across men loaded with an immense 
knowledge of all pertaining to the ancient He- 
braic literature. He may know the five books 
of Moses by heart, and may have made a thor- 
ough study of the rabbinical interpretations of 
or comments on the Pentateuch. Their learn- 
ing, while not tending to widen their views, has 
sharpened their intellectual powers, and in their 
interpretations of holy writ they may reveal an 
astonishing hair-splitting and sophistical elo- 
quence. They are proud of being of Jewish 
descent. Should anbody scornfully call such a 
man a Jew, he, who never heard the name of 
Shakespeare, may give him an answer that 
would remind one of Shy lock's famous retort: 

"I am a Jew! Hath not a Jew eyes, hath not a Jew 
hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions, 
fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, 
subject to the same diseases, healed by the same means, 
warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer, as 
a Christian is?' 

Very neatly he can sign his name in Hebrew, 



152 

or, to come nearer the truth, he can print it 
perfectly well. Both groom and bride have 
names from the Old Testament, but their 
family names are not seldom of a more modern 
origin, sometimes savoring of the fragrance of 
flowers, or reminding one of precious stones or 
metals, names not always corresponding to the 
personality of their happy owners. 

Saturday is not seldom the day when Jacob 
and Rachel take out their license. Having just 
left the synagogue they are both dressed in their 
best raiments. Neither of them is above mid- 
dle height. She might be called handsome if 
her oval face with the expressive eyes and 
transparent complexion was indicative of more 
than natural smartness. But handsome faces 
can only relatively be so denominated if not 
expressive of some refinement. 

Sometimes our friend Jacob will refuse to 
sign his name, for the orthodox Hebrew does 
not touch pen or ink on the holy Sabbath. 
With a shrug of his shoulders and a movement 
of his hand, far more explanatory than any ver- 
bal argument, he will ask to be excused. But 
Jacob is not consistent, for his orthodoxy should 
not allow him to apply for a license on a Satur- 
day, thus overstepping the laws forbidding him 



153 

to transact any kind of business on the Sabbath. 
He may also, as a special favor, ask to put on his 
hat while the oath is administered, because he, 
following the traditional customs, never un- 
covers his head at the execution of a solemn act. 
As a matter of course he is married by a 
rabbi, and the prescribed ceremonies are car- 
ried out in all their details. .To symbolize the 
strength of the union a glass is crushed in thous- 
ands of pieces. Just as impossible as this glass 
can be put together again, just as difficult shall 
it be to put assunder the matrimonial ties unit- 
ing husband and wife. Perhaps nobody ever 
heard of a divorce among that class of people. 
They usually live very happily together, a kind 
of patriarchal life, and they have a numerous 
offspring. The children are brought up in 
strict obedience to and veneration for their pa- 
rents, and to the credit of Hebrew children in 
general it must be admitted that they always 
take good care of their old and feeble, and 
sometimes very poor parents. Children born in 
America of Russian-Polish, orthodox parents 
will naturally not turn out to be so devout to 
the faith of their ancestors. The association 
with children of other religious denominations 
is, perhaps, one of the best promoters of religious 



154 

liberalism which is so nearly related to religious 
tolerance. It is true that a Hebrew may some- 
times have a chance to hear the less noble epi- 
thet "Sheeny," but they usually do not take 
this to heart. For, in the first place, it is not 
always that he who applies this epithet means 
anything bad with it, and, besides, the Hebrew 
has a clear demonstration of the undeniable fact, 
that many a "Sheeny" in America has succeeded 
pretty well. In manifold instances he has 
reached the highest honor that can be conferred 
on a man in a republic: the full and uncondi- 
tional confidence of his fellow citizens. The 
somewhat terse but logical train of thought, one 
of the characteristics of the Hebrew race, tells 
him that the conduct of a man's life and less his 
individual, religious ideas, gives him the place 
in society he is deserving of. 

The Hebrew signature is not the only curious 
one signed to an affidavit before the license 
clerk. Chicago's reputation as the most poly- 
glot city in the Union would not be complete, if 
we could not boast of harboring some members 
of the large celestial family of four hundred 
millions of souls, headed by his majesty the 
emperor of China. And the enormous pile of 
affidavits on file in the vaults of the clerk's office 



155 

would, from the view of the student of chirog- 
raphy, be considered valueless, if it did not 
contain some veritable Chinese signatures. But 
it does. The year 1886 alone can show three 
marriage affidavits, signed by Chinamen in their 
own letters. To one of these gentlemen the clerk 
feels himself indirectly greatly indebted, for he 
saved him a great deal of bother by coming in 
company with one of his countrymen, a very intel- 
ligent and versatile man with a full understand- 
ing of the English language. He did not only 
act as interpreter, but was willing to go through 
a kind of pumping process when asked to give 
some information in regard to marriages in 
China. 

"No, no sir, there is no corresponding word 
in the Chinese language to your 'marriage li- 
cense.' We do not pay any tax for the privi- 
lege of raising a family. If such a system were 
in vogue, it would bring the government a 
handsome sum, for bachelors or spinsters are 
very scarce in our country. We consider it a 
shame not to unite in wedlock." 

"Do they marry young in your country? 

"Yes, according to your notions we marry 
rather young. The man is seldom over twenty, 
and the girl not over sixteen, but then we 



156 

have manifold instances where the man is 
not more than sixteen, and the girl only 
fourteen." 

"There must be no time for 'mashing' in your 
country," interposed a bystander. 

"You hit it exactly, young man," responded 
the good-natured Chinaman. "Young men in 
my country have not such bad habits. We do 
not go with the girl before the engagement. In 
fact, we do not "know her until we are en- 
gaged." 

"You do not know her?" 

"No sir, the young man does not take a wife 
of his own choice. When a family has got 
marriageable daughters or sons they speak with 
parents equally situated, and after mature 
consideration they arrange the union between 
their children." 

"And they live happily in China?" 

"Why not ? Parents know much better what 
is to the good of their children than the chil- 
dren themselves. They make the contracts, 
and, as a rule, the children live up to them. Of 
course, there are some marriages that are not 
happy." 

"And the union is then dissolved?" 

"Not necessarily. You Americans do not 



157 

dissolve all unhappy marriages. But we have 
divorce laws." 

"I suppose your divorce laws are very rigid?" 

"In fact, I do not know much about that. The 
cardinal reason for a dissolution of a marriage 
is, I presume, the same all over the world. I 
know, besides, of two excuses for a divorce in 
China not applicable in this country. When a 
matrimony is childless, the husband may law- 
fully set his wife aside, and when one of the 
wedded parties insults the parents of the other 
party, a legitimate divorce may be obtained." 

"Do you mean to say," said the above men- 
tioned bystander, "that when a man in China 
insults his mother-in-law, she can by the instru- 
mentality of your divorce laws declare the union 
between man and wife null and void?" 

"I do." 

"My dear friend, you must be a very cun- 
ning people. I can clearly see through your 
scheme. To preserve the peace in the family 
you never speak to your mother-in-law, lest you 
say something that might hurt her feelings. 
What a glorious idea ! But — " 

The Chinese interpreter was no longer in a 
mood to argue the divorce laws of his country. 
He left the office with his friend, who, by the 



158 

way, married a white girl, who is so dear to 
him that he for her sake sacrificed his long, 
black pig-tail, the greatest sacrifice a Chinaman 
can make. 

The interpreter avoided to mention that 
polygamy is not forbidden fruit in China. The 
marriage laws of. the empire allow a man to 
have more than one wife, and the rule is, that 
the rich have as many better halves as they can 
afford to have, while the poor, who everywhere 
are prevented from indulging in luxury, have to 
be content with one. 



CHAPTER XVI. 



In Excellent Humor — An Invitation to "Stand 
Up" — Black and White — Mixed Marriages. 

WHILE Russian Hebrews (and Chinamen 
as a matter of course) are rather reti- 
cent and shy during their stay in the 
clerk's office, there is another class of our fellow 
citizens in whom the happiness of life may mani- 
fest itself through a torrent of eloquence, and 
who only need a slight occasion for bursting out 
in continuous and boisterous mirth and laughter. 
The majority of the colored population in Chi- 
cago are nearly always in a most excellent humor, 
when they take out their marriage licenses. 
They will most frequently come in groups of 
two or three who, in contrast to workingmen 
of any other race, are very nobbily dressed, 
perhaps an evidence of their self-respect. The 
slightest provocation may result in a united 
hilarity, and they may laugh as perhaps only 
negroes can laugh. Comical as they sometimes 
may be in their manners, they are not without 

059) 



160 

an open eye for the ridiculous in others. How 
they roared with laughter, three middle-aged, 
colored gentlemen, when their eyes caught a 
man, who on a cold winter day stepped into 
the office, hurriedly approaching one of the pil- 
lars supporting the ceiling, and, imagining him- 
self in front of a heating apparatus, stretched 
out his hand to warm himself. Their laughter 
nearly turned into paroxysms when the man, 
before seating himself in a chair in front of the 
post, carefully pulled it away, lest he should be 
too near the imaginary heater. Naturally they 
were not induced to stop at the sight of the 
man who, without suspecting himself to be the 
object of their convulsive laughter, commenced 
to laugh just as heartily, though not in such a 
boisterous way. 

Good humor with this race is a natural se- 
quence of their sanguine temperament. "To 
hope as a negro," is no proverb, but, perhaps, 
it ought to be. They like to bet, and "you 
bet" are not empty words in the mouth of a 
negro; he is willing to "put up," for he hopes 
to win. Sometimes he hopes like a child, trying 
his luck in lotteries of very questionable 
solidity. 

The colored population in Chicago marry 



161 

most frequently while young, and the rule is 
that the wedding is performed by a minister of 
their own race. A justice, however, may also 
once in a while make a couple of dollars on a 
colored wedding. In such cases both groom 
and bride will make their appearance before the 
license window. The cordiality of the race was 
in one instance fully evinced by an invitation to 
the clerk to act as best man. The invitation to 
"stand up" before the couple was accepted, and 
the three went to the nearest justice of the 
peace. While he was examining the license 
and preparing himself to fill out the certificate, 
the clerk was witness to a scene highly tending to 
put his curiosity to a grave test. The bride, 
while keeping up the conversation, commenced 
divesting herself of her outward garments, piece 
by piece. First her shoes went off, then fol- 
lowed her shawl and hat, which the groom 
placed on the back of a chair. How in the 
great world will this end, the clerk was wonder- 
ing, when she commenced unbuttoning her 
dress; but she did not allow him any time for 
further meditation, for the next moment her 
skirt and waist flew to the nearest corner, and 
she stood smilingly in a bridal dress of white 
gauze. From a parcel she unfolded a long veil 

Marriage License Window, u. 



162 

and a wreath which she fastened to her hair, 
having first encased her feet in a pair of white 
shoes with metallic buckles. 

This little episode recalled a scene in one of 
the modern French dramas. Two young girls, 
returning from a ball, enter their bed-room. 
Intimately chatting they commence their even- 
ing toilet. The curiosity of the audience hav- 
ing been strained to the limits of propriety, one 
of the girls suddenly exclaims: "But, dear me, 
our neighbors can look through our windows, 
we have forgotten to pull down the blinds." 
With this exclamation on her lips she steps to 
the front fly, pulls the string, and the curtain 
drops, shutting out the further gaze of the au- 
dience whose sense of propriety was not after 
all very seriously trespassed upon. 

The ceremony was short, but very much to 
the point ; the formula rather terse. The judge, 
however, rose with dignity from his chair, and 
having placed the couple so that the groom 
stood on the right side of the expectant bride, 
he commenced: "Will you take this woman 
as your lawfully married wife, love her, honor 
and obey her, and, forsaking all others, hold unto 
her, as long as you both shall live?" Of course 
he would. A similar question was put to her, 



163 

and she answered in the affirmative. Then 
joining hands at his request he declared them 
husband and wife, referring to the statutes of 
Illinois and his capacity as a civic magistrate. 

The instances where a white girl takes a man 
of the colored race for a husband are not few, 
while there is not one case on record, for the 
last four years, at least, of a white man marry- 
ing a colored girl. Americans have a deeply 
rooted disgust for connubial unions between 
negroes and white people. Publicly such unions 
are not discussed, for the reason that interfer- 
ence in such relations, besides being utterly 
useless, is considered an encroachment upon 
personal liberty, no third party having a right 
to dictate whom persons shall take for their 
wives or husbands. The reason why such 
unions are looked upon with disgust is simply 
that they are considered unnatural. It is not 
easily understood how a white girl may cherish 
any tender feeling for an individual of the negro 
race. However, taste is not a fit subject for dis- 
cussion. But to the white race generally 
the negro is considered a monstrosity when he 
contemplates marriage outside of his own race. 
His passions are not seldom violent; he is 
strongly sensual, and may sometimes, through 



164 

his impulsive nature, be led to acts bearing 
evidence of his lack of will-power. There are 
other reasons speaking against such marriages, 
reasons, however, that can only be discussed 
with a real advantage amongst psychologists or 
scientifically educated physicians. 

The aversion to marriages of blended colors, 
is, however, not limited to black and white 
alone. The greatest, perhaps, of physiologists 
could not altogether lay aside the prejudice, for 
while Othello, so far as his individual character 
concerns, is sympathetically portrayed, yet Des- 
demona is so far his superior in intellect and 
genuine feeling, that we from the first moment 
comprehend the disharmony and expect the 
tragical end. 

There is another kind of mixed marriages 
not objectionable to public opinion, but looked 
upon by the Church as misalliances. It is the 
kind of unions made between members of differ- 
ent denominations, and which undoubtedly are 
on the increase, not only in America, but all 
over the world. Catholics and Protestants fre- 
quently marry in Chicago, and though the re- 
ligious principle of both parties is resting upon 
the same foundation, the Church is naturally 
apt to look upon such unions as misalliances that 



165 

may lead to the ruin of both parties. And, 
certainly, such a result may be the outcome, if 
the necessary tolerance is not found on both 
sides. A reciprocal heresy can not lead to 
happy connubial relations. 

But the breach may be still wider, for He- 
brews and Christian girls are sometimes united 
in wedlock in Chicago; less frequently a He- 
brew girl is married to a Christian man. In 
such cases both parties have reached the ages 
between twenty-five and thirty, consequently 
the erotic relations are not built upon whimsi- 
cal love-raptures. It hardly stands to reason to 
believe that the question of religion has not 
been argued ere they made up their minds to 
live together as husband and wife. And it may 
almost be taken for granted that both parties 
are, what may be denominated, religiously in- 
different. Modern Hebrews, that is, those 
known under the name of agnostics, are pre- 
dominating among the intelligent youth of the 
race, and particularly amongst those of culture 
and higher education. They are not atheists, 
but look upon ethics as the best guide for a 
man's life, hoping that life after death, if there 
be any (for they are not sure in regard to this 
point) will make some allowance for good and 



1«6 

moral conduct. Agnosticism, as we all know, 
is neither positive nor negative, but if its culti- 
vators may succeed in disseminating moral 
teaching and, withal, imbue the rising genera- 
tion among their followers with a due feeling of 
moral responsibility, citizens as such have no 
reasons to put any impediment in their way. 

Professors of varied religious dogmas, while 
most frequently united in wedlock by a civic 
authority, will sometimes undergo a double 
wedding, and to that effect take out two li- 
censes. It is an open question whether such a 
course is directly within the law. Can a priest, 
minister, or judge marry two persons knowing 
that they are married already? One of our 
judges on the bench, however, has married a 
couple after the ceremony was performed by a 
minister, and he did not even require a separate 
license, but issued his certificate on the back of 
it, at the same time demanding both his and 
the minister's name put on record as legally 
authorized functionaries. 

Where one of the contracting parties belongs 
to the Catholic Church the priest will demand a 
dispensation from the bishop before he will 
consecrate the marriage, and so will ministers 
of some other denominations, while a rabbi, of 



167 

the old school at least, under no circumstances 
will perform the ceremony if both parties are 
not Hebrews. A young Hebrew, who took out 
a license to marry a Christian girl who, for 
some reason or other, would not allow a judge 
to unite them, vainly applied to several ministers 
until he finally found one who declared himself 
willing to perform the ceremony. Returning 
the license the minister gave some information 
significant of the religious standpoint of the 
groom. 

Having given up the religion of his childhood 
he, with the energy of his race, had commenced 
the study of the fundamental ideas of the most 
extended religions. The conclusion he finally 
had reached was that all religions were the 
same, at least four of them having sprung from 
the old Jewish religion, all of them having the 
sublime aim of bringing man nearer to God. But 
when the minister had asked him why he did 
not join the religion of love promising salvation 
to all and every one of its true adherents, the 
young man betrayed his oriental origin by an- 
swering with the following legend: 

"When the Chinese opened their ports to 
Europeans, Christian missionaries in great 
numbers found their way to the land. They all 



168 

applied to the emperor for a permission to pro- 
mulgate their teachings among his subjects 
(a step not absolutely necessary, for in 
China any religion, not interfering with the 
patriarchal laws of the empire, is tolerated), be- 
sides entertaining an upright wish to make a 
convert of his celestial majesty. For the mis- 
sionaries were fulry satisfied that if they could 
only succeed in converting the emperor, it would 
not be long ere his subjects would adopt Chris- 
tianity, the average Chinaman being a very 
obedient man. The loyalty to his majesty, the mis- 
sionaries knew, being so great that when he 
sneezed all those surrounding him would do the 
same, and the court of the emperor embraces 
thousands of the leading citizens of his empire. 
The emperor himself, being a Confucianist, was 
anxious to know the character of the religious 
teachings the missionaries would preach. He 
therefore invited them to his court on a certain 
fixed day and hour. When the last of them 
had finished, the emperor arose from his seat 
paying his high compliments to the intelligence 
and great ability of the speakers. At the 
same time he declared it impossible to elevate 
their teachings to the religion of his empire, 
finding that they did not agree amongst them- 



169 

selves, each insisting upon his views being the 
only right ones that would lead to the result so 
much wished for by all mortals, including his 
subjects. He might be willing to adopt the 
religion of the Europeans if the missionaries 
could agree amongst themselves. But the 
missionaries never more made an attempt to 
convert the emperor, and his successors on the 
throne are still heathens." 



CHAPTER XVII. 



Superstition — A Wedding Postponed — "Call 
Again" — Saturday — Monday — The Farm- 
ers' Day — Certificates. 

IT is quite significant that even the most ra- 
tional men, though devoid of national and 
religious prejudices, can not altogether 
emancipate themselves from some sort of super- 
stition. Not even free-thinkers like to take out 
their marriage license on a Friday. It is a rare 
instance when an American applies for a license 
on that day, and if those foreign-born, who do 
appear before the window, had the slightest 
suspicion of the ominous significance attributed 
to it, they might follow suit and not make the 
initial step to their marriage until twenty-four 
hours later. Whether born in America or in some 
other part of the globe most people are more 
or less superstitious. Even at the close of the 
nineteenth century we may come across people 
disposed to read their fate in omens and signs. 
To be thirteen at a table means that one of the 
party will die within a year. The howling of a 

(tycrt 



171 

dog at night-time is an omen indicative of the 
approaching death of a person in the neighbor- 
hood. The fall of a family picture from the 
wall is a sure sign that someone in the family 
is on his way to join the large, silent army. 
There are women who on certain days will not 
pick up a pin from the floor because such might 
lead to a row in the family before sunset. A 
pair of knives lying cross-wise augurs the death 
of one of the nearest relatives. A young man was 
honest enough to admit before the clerk that he 
had been in the office at an early hour in 
the morning, but having met a hunch-back man 
in the doorway of the office he had delayed 
taking out his license that day, for, he added, 
"it is an ominous sign to meet such an unfor- 
tunate being early in the morning, and no man 
ought to challenge the fates." Sometimes an 
unexpected and insignificant event may sud- 
denly enter the mind of an applicant, perturbing 
his thoughts in a most curious way. In illus- 
tration may here be given a few examples: 

A young couple had nearly finished their 
transactions before the license window, when 
suddenly a music-band struck a funeral march 
in honor of a Mason. All in the office rushed 
to the windows to see the procession, with the 



172 

exception of the groom and his bride, who sud- 
denly assumed a very melancholy appearance. 
Inspired by a momentary thought he deferently 
asked the clerk to stop the issuing of the license, 
as he took it as a bad omen that a funeral march 
should be played just at the moment he made 
the first step towards his supposed, domestic 
happiness, emphatically declaring that even if 
Offenbach had been the composer of the funeral 
music, he would not change his mind. Strange 
to say, the bride coincided with his views, not 
to take the license out on that day, although 
she mildly suggested to wait only that long 
until the music had passed by and no longer 
could be heard in the office. 

An elderly man in a very talkative mood, 
having humorously depicted the life he had 
lived with the two of his deceased wives, 
stretched out his hand to bid good-bye to the 
clerk. Without any definite intention he was 
finally greeted with the words: "Call again," 
when he suddenly, with a violent jerk, took his 
hand, remarking that he did not enjoy that 
kind of a joke. Asked for an explanation he 
responded that he took the words as a bad 
omen significant of the demise of his third wife. 
With his hand raised he solemnly declared that 



173 

he would never "call again" in the office to take 
out a license. 

"Do you, Mr. clerk, believe that it will rain to- 
day?" was asked by a groom on a cloudy day. 

"It looks like it." 

"I think so myself, and I will have to post- 
pone my wedding." 

"Postpone it, why?" 

"Because rain on a wedding day is forebod- 
ing of unhappiness for the contracting parties." 

Friday being a quiet day, Saturday in return 
is so much livelier, not only because of the 
larger number of licenses issued, but also because 
this being the day when most frequently both 
parties put in their appearance to get married im- 
mediately after having procured the necessary 
document. The grooms are workingmen, and 
the brides are servant girls, who may display 
not a small quantity of silk, velvet, and golden 
ornaments in their ears, around their necks, and 
on their fingers, a clear evidence of the well 
known fact that Chicago is the paradise on earth 
for hired girls. The girl's presence in the of- 
fice is sometimes of great importance, highly 
valued by the clerk, for there is many a groom 
who does not know how to spell the family 
name of his girl, and there are some who do not 



174 

know it at all. Used to call their girls by 
their given names, Mary, Lizzie, Katie, and so 
on, they never suspected to be asked the family 
name, holding that under no circumstances is it 
of any account after the marriage has been 
solemnized. The proper statement and correct 
spelling of names will not seldom cut a greater 
figure in married life than some are inclined to 
believe, and particularly is this the case in re- 
gard to the emigrated population. It is of no 
rare occurrence that an emigrant falls heir to 
some property from a near or far relative in one 
of the old countries, and that a certificate of 
marriage from the county clerk's office is de- 
manded by the European authorities. An in- 
correct statement or spelling of the names may 
prove a great impediment to the paying of the 
inheritance; invariably it causes great delay. 
In such cases the parties concerned will come 
to the office, and having explained the nature of 
their visit, they may ask the clerk to correct 
the names in the public records, apparently sur- 
prised to learn that such corrections can not be 
made, under no circumstances many years 
after the names were entered, when both the 
minister and the witnesses are dead or moved 
to unknown places. 



175 

Monday is considered a fortunate day — per- 
haps one of the reasons why the clerk is kept 
busy on that day. One applicant expressed his 
confidence in the great luck of that day by stat- 
ing that he would send for a ticket in the 
Louisiana lottery bearing the same number as 
his license. Some days after he returned to the 
office asking the clerk if the number on the 
license could not be changed, no corresponding 
number could be had in the lottery. The li- 
cense number had just passed 100,000, the limit, 
he explained, of the numbers in the wheel of 
fortune. — A former license clerk, who undoubt- 
edly possessed a strongly creative imagination, 
is said to have made the discovery that after 
large picnics on Sundays during the summer, 
and well attended balls on Sundays during the 
winter, would invariably follow a brisk business 
before the license window the following Mon- 
days. The real facts, however, do not bear 
him out. Perhaps he only wished to convey the 
idea that young persons in America too often 
conclude to marry without having known each 
other a reasonable length of time. Young 
American men and girls are more independent 
of their parents in love matters than are their 
European brothers and sisters. The American 



176 

girl, as a rule, is wildly romantic in her conjugal 
views, and the natural consequence is that she 
often will make a dreadful mistake, paying 
dearly for her impulsive love and for the follow- 
ing rash and heedless marriage. 

Tuesday and Wednesday are not considered 
busy days, the number of licenses issued seldom 
averaging more than thirty or thirty-five. 
Thursday is the farmers' or country peoples' 
day. It takes no particularly keen eye to dis- 
tinguish a farmer from an inhabitant of a city. 
The massive, solid stamp characterizing his en- 
tire personality, his strong and healthy body, 
and his plain manners, free from all affectation, 
and finally the cut of his dress will forthwith 
point him out. A clerk with good wishes for a 
coming, healthy generation will always take 
pleasure in furnishing a young farmer with a 
license. He may not possess the refined culture 
of which many of his contemporaries in the 
large cities feel so proud, but then in return he 
may justly point to his strong constitution and 
independent position as the two factors best fitted 
to make life a blessing. 

The farmer's girl frequently accompanies him 
on his expedition to Chicago to get a license, as 
several purchases have to be made before the 



177 

wedding. Both may be heavily loaded with par- 
cels at their entrance in the office, he sometimes 
carrying a jug, the contents of which, judging by 
the odor, is stronger than water. If they come in 
his own conveyance she may stay there, holding 
the reins while he is transacting the business in 
the clerk's office. In a capacious wagon the 
parents-in-law may sometimes be seen, or a 
neighbor may be in the groom's company, will- 
ing to vouch for him, if it should be necessary. 
Almost without exception farmers are married 
by clergymen. 

It happened once that one of these gentlemen 
from the rural district stepped up to the license 
window inquiring if the county clerk was in. 
The license clerk seeing such a farmer, with his 
girl modestly waiting at the door, both loaded 
with a variety of parcels, could not for a mo- 
ment doubt the nature of his errand. Insisting 
upon seeing the county clerk in person he and 
his girl got seated, and after a little while they 
were so absorbed in conversation that they did 
not notice the crowd in front of them, each and 
every one taking out a license to wed. After a 
full hour's waiting he finally got up from his 
seat to convince himself that the county clerk 
had not yet arrived, and learning that the 

Marriage License Window. 12. 



178 

probability was that the clerk would not appear 
that afternoon, the farmer, without showing any 
emotion, declared the situation a very preca- 
rious one, for he had a long way to ride, and 
the wedding was set for the next day. He 
wished to obtain a marriage license, and was very 
agreeably surprised to learn that for the trans- 
action of that business the presence of the clerk 
himself was not needed. The good farmer had 
studied the statutes of the laws of Illinois pro- 
viding that "the county clerk shall issue mar- 
riage license," and so on, taking the "county 
clerk" in too literal a sense without heeding the 
fact that a deputy is representing the clerk in 
the different departments of the office. — Nearly 
a week after the same farmer appeared in the 
office to inquire whether he had not left a small 
bottle of wine on the counter the day he took 
out his license. To the best of his knowledge, 
the clerk told him, no. The farmer explained 
that he had put the bottle among other parcels 
on the counter, but when he came home he dis- 
covered that he had a bottle half full of muci- 
lage instead of wine. The county got its muci- 
lage back. 

Among his parcels may sometimes be seen a 
roll of paper which he handles with particular 



179 

care. It is a marriage certificate bought' in a 
stationary store, and, after having been properly 
filled out by the clergyman, is destined to orna- 
ment the wall of the best room in the house, the 
frame alone being more expensive than ten 
certificates of its like. It is a very allegorical 
piece of paper, being adorned with both doves 
and angels. Besides it is a bit of old-timed, ro- 
mantic illustration. Of course the moon is up, 
and full at that, shining over the calm sea on 
which a boat with a young man and woman are 
starting from the paternal home towards the 
church on the other side. The oval holes are 
intended for the pictures of the groom and his 
bride, and a third one right underneath will be 
filled out with the picture of the minister, per- 
haps later replaced with that of the first-born 
baby. Besides, the certificate may be adorned 
with two grasping hands, symbolizing the 
strength of the matrimonial union. The inscrip- 
tions on these certificates are pretty nearly the 
same in all instances. "This certifies that 

Mr. and Miss were on this day united 

in holy matrimony according to the ordinance 
of God and the laws of the state of Illinois, at 
(Chicago) on the (15th) day of (October) in 
the year of our Lord, 188 — ." Quotations from 



180 

the scripture may often impress the possessor 
of such a certificate of the solemnity of the 
matrimonial act, as for instance: "What there- 
fore God hath joined together, let no man put 
assunder (Mat. 19, 6)," or "It is not good that 
the man should be alone," and "I will make 
him an help meet for him (Gen. 2, 18)." 

It is a praiseworthy care evinced by farmers 
and other people to procure some kind of a 
marriage certificate. A clergyman may some- 
times be so absent-minded that he will mislay the 
license or entirely forget that he performed the 
ceremony, and the natural consequence is that no 
public record can be made of the union. Or 
the clergyman may hide away a license so well 
that it may not be found until his heirs acci- 
dentally discover it among his papers. In one 
instance a return was made of nearly a hundred 
licenses, covering a space of several years, found 
among papers belonging to the estate of a de- 
ceased clergyman of high standing. The neg- 
lect to make these returns has often caused 
widows of soldiers a great deal of trouble, the 
pension office at Washington being very strict in 
its demands for a clear proof of the parties 1 
indisputable rights to arrear money or back 

pay- 



CHAPTER XVIII. 



Busy Days — A Comical Error — A Dramatic 
Scene — Cupid's Hunting Season. 

There are days in the year when a license 
clerk will do well in preparing himself for a 
more than ordinarily large throng of applicants. 
These are the immediate days before the glo- 
rious Fourth, Thanksgiving day, Christmas and 
New Years. Thanksgiving is particularly an 
American day; and certainly it is appropriate 
to celebrate one's wedding while thanking 
Providence for many other good things. Should, 
however, the matrimony not be a happy one, it 
may be a little painful each Thanksgiving day 
to be reminded of the wedding-day. Large 
groups will usually gather outside the window 
on the busy days, and sometimes the great 
hurry will call forth rather comical situations 
or errors. 

Two men, by their own fault, got their li- 
censes changed in front of the cashier's desk. 
Both being in a great hurry they rushed out of 

(iSi) 



182 

the office without opening the folded document, 
which they placed in their inside coat pockets. 
The very same evening the weddings should 
take place, and the mistake on both sides was 
so timely discovered that it might have been 
corrected if the two grooms had not been under 
the impression that the county clerk's office is 
closed at four instead of at five o'clock. The di- 
rectory was searched, and fortunately the right 
addresses were found. Each hired a hack and 
drove to the dwelling of the other, where each 
found a bride in very low spirits. Each of the 
men was inclined to wait for the other, but the 
problem of finding each other was finally solved 
by one of the ladies who sent the stranger 
away, strictly forbidding him to re-appear, he 
naturally driving back to his bride, where the 
licenses were exchanged. 

Another error was productive of a very dra- 
matic scene. Accompanied by an interpreter 
two Polish men asked for "some of these pa- 
pers," at the same time pointing at the rose- 
.colored license blanks. The men were waited 
on and left the office. Some hours after a loud 
noise was heard in the hall- way, and when the 
doors were thrown open the same two men with 
their wives and a large number of half-grown 



183 

and small children strode up to the license win- 
dow. Without using any interpreter the two 
women raised a storm of wrath, threatening to 
arrest the license clerk for swindling poor peo- 
ple out of their money. The children kept si- 
lent until their mothers' hysteric attacks ended 
with a loud and violent sobbing, then they also 
commenced to cry and abuse the clerk. When 
the noise had somewhat subsided, and an expla- 
nation was within the possibility of the clerk, it 
was discovered that the men had appeared in the 
office to make the initial steps to become citizens 
of the United States. The money was conse- 
quently refunded, but the men were not allowed 
to declare their intentions that day. In fact, 
they were rather roughly marched out of the 
office by their wives without getting a chance 
to renounce their allegiance to any potentate. 

Far more genial was the man who, by a mis- 
take, swore as his intention to sever all connec- 
tions with the English queen, while he intended 
to take out a paper that should unite him with 
his Bridget. When he learned that he had to 
wait two years before he could make use of his 
"declaration," he declared it impossible to wait 
that long, as all preparations for the wedding 
were made. 



184 

In regard to the seasons there is no doubt 
that fall is the one when most weddings are con- 
tracted. Some author is said to have made the 
discover}' that most engagements are initiated 
in spring, entered into during summer, and 
concluded during winter. For reasons not dif- 
ficult to comprehend, said author is not basing 
his discovery on any statistical dates, and he 
may not have heard of our skating-rink or pic- 
nic engagements, where the parties meet perhaps 
for the first time in their lives. No; Cupid, 
this little winged, active, capricious, speculating 
and always pondering gentleman, does not know 
of any law limiting the hunting season to cer- 
tain months of the year. He hunts all the year 
and takes pleasure in piercing with his arrows 
the hearts of the young, of the middle-aged, and 
occasionally the old, and the greater destruction 
he produces the greater his joy. Merc}? is a 
virtue unknown to him, it is not found in his 
dictionary, but to his credit it must be said that 
he seldom hurts his victim so hard that death 
will ensue as the immediate consequence of love. 
Though of an ungovernable and fickle-minded 
temperament he seems to be guided by certain 
rules. Or should it be Nature that dictates dark 
gentlemen to fall in love with blonde ladies, or 



185 

brunette girls to prefer light complexioned gen- 
tlemen. In no other relations of life contrasts 
will meet more frequently than in those per- 
taining to the affairs of the heart. Tall men 
will wed small women, and tall girls will try 
their matrimonial luck with small men. The 
fat and the lean, the snub-nosed and the hawk- 
nosed, the intelligent and the stupid, the brave 
and the poltroon, the good-natured and the ill- 
tempered, and sometimes the poor and the rich 
will meet and unite in wedlock. The contrast 
may not seldom be carried to an excess, as for 
instance when a dwarf marries a tall and slender 
girl, or a hunch-back's love is returned by a 
female being twice as large as him, or a blind 
man marries a girl with sparkling eyes. 

The sport of the said little winged gentleman 
may once in a while be interfered with by the 
Chicago police. Perhaps the reader remembers 
the little dime-museum dwarf who, on a bright 
summer day, with sunshine in his heart and with a 
voice trembling with joy, applied for a license. 
The clerk not seeing the lover wondered where 
the voice came from, until a bystander called 
his attention to this diminutive edition of a hu- 
man being by lifting him up from the floor. 
Accepting the invitation to step inside the rail- 



186 

ing, he was seated on a high chair whence he 
satisfactorily answered the questions put to him. 
With an air of self-importance, not seldom 
characterizing people of small stature, he left the 
office expecting to find his bride, a rather tall 
and well developed girl, in a hack outside, but 
was greatly disappointed. A detective had 
driven the bride to her house, and another de- 
tective took the groom by his coat-collar and 
marched him to the police station. The parents 
had called a halt to the union, she being only 
seventeen. Then followed a trial with the li- 
cense clerk as one of the principal witnesses, but 
with the result that the dwarf was released, the 
girl having told him that she had reached the 
age of maturity. 



CHAPTER XIX. 



Given Names — From the Old and New Testa- 
ment — Historical and Dramatic Names — 
Complicated Names — Names Translated— 
"Rats." 

IT is a very common custom in America that 
people call each other by their given names. 
In Europe such a familiar address is only made 
use of among near relations or intimate friends. 
Not even in the shops of the old country is the 
familiar given name applied, but the family 
name, though it may contain many syllables, is 
used. It is not to American etiquette said in- 
timacy is owing its origin; it springs from a 
very natural cause, the foreign population in 
manifold instances having very long names, 
which the native population have some diffi- 
culty in pronouncing or keeping in their mem- 
ory. He who pays some attention to the daily 
published marriage license list will hardly have 
failed to discover that the given names have in 

nearly all cases the English form, while the 

(187) 



188 

family name is spelled in its full length without 
having undergone any change. Johannes is 
transformed to John, Andreas to Andrew, Fran- 
tisek to Frank, Carl to Charles, Mariane to 
Mary Ann, Emilie to Emily, Marie to Mary. 
Sometimes the abbreviation of a name is given 
for the full name, the applicant insisting upon 
having it put down. A great number of female 
names are, as well known, nothing but abbre- 
viated or pet names that, however, have 
acquired citizens right in the language. Young 
girls usually prefer to be called by their abbre- 
viated names. Henrietta becomes Hattie; Mag- 
gie is preferred to Margaret; Lizzie to Eliza- 
beth; Katie to Catharine, and so on. 

An only cursory review of the list will prove 
that the variety of given names is very small. 
After the death of Christ, the New Testament 
has contributed the most names to mankind. 
Innumerable are the Johns, James's, Peters, An- 
drews. And amongst females the Marys are 
predominating in all countries where civiliza- 
tion, according to Christian notions, has reached. 
The Apostles are not the only ones whose 
names are immortalized, but martyrs, saints 
and pious Christians are eternized through per- 
sons bearing their names. There are not many 



189 

names in existence that may not be found in the 
eleven marriage records preserved in the vault 
of the county clerk's office. How many a young 
lady, however, by the handsome name of Agnes, 
ever thought that she indirectly owes that name 
to a holy virgin in Rome, and how many an 
Anna is aware that she and her thousands of 
sisters might have been christened otherwise if 
the widow Anna in Jerusalem had not existed. 
The names of the Old Testament are more 
and more going out of fashion. Even among 
Hebrews, outside of the orthodox, it seems no 
longer to be adapted to the spirit of the age to 
name the children after the patriarchs Abra- 
ham, Isaac and Jacob, and the name of the great 
law-maker Moses will in time altogether dis- 
appear from the list of names. Among Ameri- 
cans, and particularly among those of Puritan 
descent, we will frequently meet the patriarchal 
names, of which one, as known to every school 
child, is inseparable from the proudest names to 
be found in the history of America. "President 
Lincoln" sounds stranger to the ear than the 
mere name "Abraham Lincoln." One name of 
the Old Testament, however, has been adopted 
to so great an extent that it will hardly die out 
in the next centuries, and is held in common by 



190 

emperors, kings and subjects alike. The name 
is Joseph. Poles particularly seem to cherish a 
great predilection for this name. Judging from 
those in Chicago, every fifth Pole is christened 
by this name, which in the Old Testament is 
surrounded with a glory of virtue and innocence. 
Modern Christian names, if not taken from his- 
tory, may in many instances be traced to novels 
or fictions. Parents are often in a great dilemma 
when choosing a name for their child. Some- 
times their choice is very unfortunate, implying 
qualifications with which nature never furnished 
their offspring, thereby corroborating the old 
saying, that there is nothing in a name. 

While the given name, as a rule, can not 
serve as a reliable indicator of the nationality, 
on the other hand, names may be met with of 
so peculiar a nature that the owner's nationality 
can easily be determined. Nobody will, for 
instance, doubt the nationality of a man by the 
name of Patrick, though the marriage record 
shows a Dane by that name. Gustaf Adolf is 
not always, but most frequently, a Swede. If 
we come across a Thor or Thorbjorn, hardly 
any mistake will be made by counting him 
amongst the Norwegians; and Soren is a spe- 
cific Danish name, as Frithiof is Swedish. A man 



191 

by the name of Gotthilf or Dietrich is, as a 
matter of course, a German. Emilie is a very 
common name among German girls, just as 
common as Mary amongst Irish. Hilda and 
Hulda are common names amongst Swedish 
girls, while a Barbara outside the circles of Pol- 
ish girls is a rarity. French Canadians will not 
seldom choose names from the history of 
France — Bonaparte, Jean Jaques Rousseau, 
Richelieux, nay, even Voltaire, we frequently 
come across. And as to the colored race, it 
may seem superfluous to enumerate the Wash- 
ington, the Lincolns, the Ulysses, and the 
Shermans, the patriotic names being only appli- 
cable to males, America having not yet pro- 
duced a Jeanne d 1 Arc. If not historical, the 
colored people may look for their names with 
Shakespeare. The records will, among other 
dramatic names, show an Othello and Desde- 
mona who got married a couple of years ago. 
Too often, as premised above, parents will give 
their children names without heeding their natu- 
ral qualifications. Many a very dark brunette 
in Chicago is called Lillie or Rose. 

The number of Christian or given names 
mostfrequently usedbeing comparatively limited, 
the variation of family names, on the other 



192 

hand, is so much greater, so great, indeed, that 
one can hardly think of anything between heav- 
en and earth which may not some day or an- 
other appear as a family name. Undoubtedly it 
would take several volumes to gather one of each 
of the various family names in the public records. 
The less complicated, of course, are those end- 
ing with the syllable "son," which, however, is 
lending a certain monotony to the names. This 
is particularly the case with a mojority of the 
Scandinavian names, hailing from the time when 
children affixed said ending to the given names of 
their fathers. Peter may have had a boy chris- 
tened John, and John's full name was conse- 
quently John Peterson. John may get married, 
and have a son whom he may call Peter, and, 
being a son of John, his full name will be Peter 
Johnson. The same rule being applied to girls, 
we still meet such names as Petersdotter 
(daughter), Johnsdotter, and so on. The name 
of the farm, of which the family was the pro- 
prietor or tenant, was not seldom added to the 
name, the records contain any amount of them. 
Names indicating a trade are not so frequent 
amongst Scandinavians, though Mr. Smith, of 
course, is by no means scarce, but may be 
counted by scores. Swedes may not seldom 



193 

have some very choice names taken from the 
nobility of their country, as Gyllenstjerna ( golden 
star), Gyllenorn (golden-eagle). Or they may, 
as is the case in numerous instances, have names 
from the vegetable world, odoriferous of flowers 
and leaves, as for instance, Liljenkrants (wreath 
of lillies), Palmqvist (branch of palms), Lind- 
qvist (branch of linden-tree), etc. 

The English, after the German family names, 
are the most complicated of all. Besides the 
easily translated names as Schneider (tailor), 
Schuster (shoemaker), Zimmermann (carpen- 
ter), Smith, Baker, and the common names of 
colors, as Weiss (white), Braun (brown), 
Schwartz (black), we find an entire series of 
the indiscriminately chosen names as Suessmilch 
(sweet-milk), Schweinlein (little hog), Weiss- 
kopf (white head), Kalbeskopf (calf's head), etc. 
In many instances corresponding names may be 
found in English, but Germans have that class 
of surnames in a far greater extent. 

In regard to the many family names denoting 
a trade, the origin is easy enough to trace, but 
many of the compound names have undoubtedly 
from the beginning been nick-names or pet 
names, the original meaning having been lost 
sight of, they have become family names. A 

Marriage License Window. 13. 



194 

name such as Mannteufel, composed of "man" 
and "devil," a highly aristocratic name at that, 
can not easily be explained in any other way. 

Some names are selected at random, as for 
instance Polish Jewish names. The author 
Dr. Leopold Ritter, famous in literature under 
the pseudonym Sachor Masoch, has written a 
series of Jewish stories, justly ranked as gems 
in literature. In one of these he gives authentic 
information of how these Jews came to their 
surnames. When Frants Joseph the Second is- 
sued his ordinance providing that Jews in the 
future should bear family names, sorrow and 
consternation were the first results of the em- 
peror's command. After some lamentations 
and shedding of tears they, however, soon be- 
came reconciled to their fate. The women and 
girls amongst them commenced thinking of 
names they should adopt, handsome and proud 
names of course, according to their notions, for 
vanity may slumber under even the most modest 
gown or caftan. But what is the use of reck- 
oning without a host. Neither in this nor in 
any other district the Jews voluntarily selected 
their names. The officers concerned made a 
business of giving surnames to the Jews, who 
quietly surrendered to what they considered the 



195 

inevitable. He who offered a brilliant pay, got 
a brilliant name, he who paid well got a good 
name, the moderate payer got a modest name, 
and he who could pay nothing at all, got a vul- 
gar name, the officers not seldom giving vent to 
their humor. At that time rich Jews succeeded 
in getting names as Veilchfield (violet-field), 
Goldreich (gold-rich), Diamant, Hermelin, and 
Rubinfeuer (ruby-fire). The well-to-do had to 
be satisfied with names as Charmant, Nussel- 
baum (^nut-tree), Dukat, Perlemutter (mother- 
of-pearl). The consideration being small, the 
names were most frequently taken from geo- 
graphy. Some were registered as Regen 
(rain), Tabak (tobacco), and the absolute poor 
were condemned to Essig (vinegar), Pheffer 
(pepper), and other like names. 

It is a very rare instance when a man seeks 
to change his family name. Here or there a 
letter may be thrown overboard, or one vowel 
may take the place of another for the sake of 
euphon} 7 or an easier pi-onunciation. The name 
itself usually remains as it was before its owner 
landed in America, and is not changed by his 
children born in this country. An applicant for 
a license giving his name which, in respect to 
its length and pronunciation, belonged to that 



196 

species popularly termed "jaw-breakers," an- 
other applicant made the remark: "You ought 
to change your name to Smith or Jones." To 
which the owner very laconically responded: 
"My father rests in his grave a highly respect- 
able man." In this answer is, perhaps, the 
most satisfactory explanation why the great 
masses of people do not change their names, no 
matter how odd these may be. Any ambitious 
son maintains his family name and he takes 
pride in keeping it up as long as possible. In 
the name all the family traditions are preserved, 
and to do honor to the name is quite a natural 
ambition with most men. With an eye to the 
future a foreigner, whose children were born 
here, wished to be informed if his son was eli- 
gible to the office of president of the United 
States. Perhaps many may be nourishing the 
thought that their names in a far future may 
adorn the highest office of this country. It is 
not altogether impossible that, say a hundred 
years from now, there may be a president of 
the United States by the name Lewandowski 
or Hansen, or Weiskoff, or Quicksilber, or, 
perhaps, Napoleon. 

As mentioned above the rule is that foreign- 
ers keep their names, but we will sometimes 



197 

find examples of translated names. The writer 
recollects a middle-aged man who signed his 
name to an affidavit blank, and handed it over 
the counter. There it stood clear and in bold 
letters, John Gladstone. The appearance of the 
man spoke eloquently against the probability 
that he belonged to the Anglo-Saxon race, and 
when he commenced to talk, it became evident 
that the English vocabulary at his command was 
very limited. A Gladstone who cannot speak 
English fluently will naturally arouse some sus- 
picion. On the other hand it is a rather deli- 
cate affair to ask a man if he is sure that a 
name so distinctly written as in this instance is 
his own. The conversation having been turned 
upon the great diversity of surnames, he was 
made to understand that the clerk presumed 
that his father was born in England and had 
settled in Germany. The man objected to that 
presumption. None of the family were English 
as far as his knowledge of his ancestors reached. 
They were all Germans with little or no knowl- 
edge of the English language. The conversa- 
tion having taken a more familiar turn, he was 
asked how it happened that he had such a dis- 
tinctively English name. Then the explanation 
was given. He had emigrated not very long 



198 

ago with the bona-fide intention to become an 
American; but an American, he claimed, must 
have a name that under all circumstances points 
to his descent from an English-speaking people. 
He therefore had translated his name, that in 
his mother-tongue was Freudenstein, the cor- 
rect translation of which is Gladstone. Having 
been fully convinced that in order to change a 
name certain legal formalities have to be ob- 
served, he once more took his original name, 
and the certificate of birth of his first-born baby 
announces that Freudenstein and not Gladstone 
is the name the family is still enjoying. 

Sometimes a name will get a comical sound 
when pronounced with a foreign accent. As an 
illustration may here be given an episode, in 
which the central figure was a little man with 
an iron gray beard that covered his face, com- 
mencing just beneath his eyes. He stood in a 
motley crowd of young men all waiting for their 
licenses. He had signed his name, but the let- 
ters not being distinctly written, he was asked 
to tell his name. Being a little hard of hearing 
he, like most hard-hearing or deaf people, spoke 
very loudly. Finally understanding the ques- 
tion he cried out at the top of his voice, "rats." 
His name was Raths, but with his American 



199 

pronunciation it sounded like "rats." He re- 
peated it several times, and the effect was in- 
stantaneous. The crowd howled "rats," and 
from one end of the office to the other nothing 
but "rats" was heard during the hilarity that 
arose. Mr. Raths was a very good-natured 
man, most likely utterly ignorant of the mean- 
ing of this, at that time, popular slang in the 
jargon of the country. He shook hands with the 
bystanders, and he who did not know better 
might have thought that here stood a man 
among a host of friends joyful at surprising him 
in taking out a license in his old age. 

While the name to a certain degree indicates 
the nationality, the personal, if not typical ap- 
pearance of individuals may not seldom lead to 
false conclusions. The instances are not few 
where even the keenest observer may be in 
doubt whether the man before him is an Irish- 
man or a Scandinavian. It is a very common 
idea that all Scandinavians have blue eyes and 
blonde hair, but the exceptions with dark eyes 
and black hair may be counted by the thousands. 
Nor are blonde Irishmen so scarce as some per- 
sons are inclined to believe. Naturally the out- 
ward appearance of North Germans and Scan- 
dinavians is the same, the different manners and 



200 

bearing being almost the only marks of differ- 
ence, where the typical is not predominant. 
Amongst people of the Latin race it is not diffi- 
cult to discern the typical Frenchman from the 
typical Italian, but where the specific typical is 
wanting, the similarity ceases and it will be dif- 
ficult to determine who is the Frenchman and 
who the Italian. 

On women the national peculiarities seem to 
be more strongly impressed. A clerk is seldom 
in doubt as to the nationality of the many 
women who, during the year, appear before the 
license window. We are here considering only 
the emigrated women. As a rule they are less 
susceptible of foreign impressions than the men 
whom the strife of life brings in contact with 
all nationalities. Cosmopolitan views are not 
so easily entertained by the average woman. 
In their way they are more patriotic than the 
men. To the woman we appeal in many na- 
tional undertakings; she influences her husband 
and sons, and not seldom will she make patriots 
of those lacking a deeper understanding of pa- 
triotism. Her own language as mother-tongue 
is to her more than the mere regard of conven- 
ience. She teaches her children in that lan- 
guage, and she sings the songs of her country to 



201 

them while rocking the cradle. Children of 
emigrated parents, at least the first-born, know 
as a rule their mother's language long before 
their native language. It is true that a com- 
mon-school education will soon bring the 
mother's language in oblivion, but it is also true 
that teachers sometimes have a hard task in 
accustoming the child's ear and tongue to the 
use of the language of his native country. 



CHAPTER XX. 



Girls as Applicants — Nervous Men — "Under 
the Weather" — Hypnotism. 

ON an average of twice a week a female 
partner in the matrimonial contract will 
take out the license. Questioned why the 
bridegroom does not come, the answer in most 
instances will be that he is working, not being 
able to leave the shop without loss of money. 
But the answer may also be that he does not 
like to come because he is bashful. A bashful 
lover on the threshold of matrimony at the close 
of the nineteenth century may seem an anomaly, 
and yet he exists and has many brothers. But 
it is not always that the bashfulness is in proper 
relation to the age. Middle-aged gentlemen, 
who never were married before, will sometimes 
have an abundance of bashfulness. As a special 
favor they ask their sweethearts to transact the 
business with the license clerk. The ladies do 
not like it, but they, of course, will yield to the 

foolish demands in preference to having the 

(202) 



203 

wedding postponed, perhaps for a long time. If 
the bashful man is not possessing a greater 
quantity of bashfulness than his bride, he may 
leave it to the minister to take out the necessary 
documents. A very beloved and amiable min- 
ister, who frequently took out licenses for 
members of his congregation, never neglected 
to call the clerk's attention to the fact that it 
was not he, who was going to get married. By 
signing his name to the affidavit, it had several 
times happened that his name appeared in the 
published license list. The first time his wife 
had put in a mild objection, and though she had 
been used to it, still she wished to avoid the 
mistake if possible. 

Nearly related to the bashful are the nervous 
applicants. A clerk, not too hardened in his 
agency- as deputy for Cupid, will always extend 
his sympathy to a nervous applicant, and he will 
try to encourage him, knowing that in many 
instances a man needs all his nerve when entering 
married life. The nervousness manifests itself 
sometimes by a violent shaking of the hand. 
The applicant may vainly make two or three 
attempts to sign his name, and will not succeed 
until he takes the advice to withdraw from the 
counter and retire to a lonesome desk where he 



204 

without any spectators can regain his composure 
or gain some strength. It is not always small 
and faintly built individuals in whom the nervous 
disposition makes itself apparent. On the con 
trary, strong and robust men may be what we 
in daily parlance call "rattled" to such a degree 
that, taking their powerful frame into considera- 
tion, they look very ridiculous. 

Sometimes an explanation of the nervous 
attack is given with the assurance that the evil 
is only a passing one called forth by a little 
festival the night before, the last convention of 
friends before the wedding. It has happened 
that applicants have been under direct influence 
of liquor while making their application. They 
have admitted that they were intoxicated, but 
as drunken people are not disinclined to enter 
into an argument, they frequently protest against 
the refusal of a license until the effects have 
disappeared. 

"But, Mr. clerk," argued an intoxicated 
gentleman, " let us for a moment and for the sake 
of an argument suppose that I, and not you, am 
drunk, what about it? I know my name, don't 
I? I know my girl's name, her age, — no sir, I 
take that back, for I will not swear to any girl's 
age, even if I were sober. Or do you call this 



205 

the talk of a drunken man ? Well then, knowing 
the facts in this case, why try to interfere with 
my happiness, for I am happy, perhaps happier 
than I ever will be. — Do you trust in this office? 
You don't, well, I will excuse you, but you know, 
as well as I, you could not refuse me because I 
or you are drunk." 

The following day the man took out the 
license in sober condition. He acted as if he 
had never seen the clerk, who of course did not 
know him, had never seen him before. To 
argue with drunken people would be a very 
useless task, for their comprehension of the sit- 
uation is naturally different from that of the clerk. 

In speaking of men under influence of liquor 
a scene of a rather comical character suggests 
itself. The groom had taken out the license, 
when the door suddenly sprang open and his 
fiancee came staggering in, throwing her arms 
around his neck. She had been drinking, there 
was no doubt, for her breath told the whole 
misery. The couple wanted to be married 
immediately, and the groom seized the oppor- 
tunity to explain that the lady was not full. 
"What else is the matter with her" interposed 
a bystander, on whose toes the lady had stepped 
with no light foot. 



206 

" I can't tell, I am sure, unless what a doctor 
once told me concerning myself was true, that 
I was loaded with too much magnetism that 
might influence my nearest surroundings and 
bring them in a kind of hypnotic or comatose 
condition. I guess we better postpone the 
wedding till to-morrow." 

The next day the couple returned to the office 
wishing to know where to find a Justice. The 
bride expectant was then in a perfectly sober 
condition, while the groom was strongly intoxi- 
cated. 

"He is not drunk, the girl explained, but only 
suffering from intermittant fever. He has for a 
while been suffering as you see him now, every 
second day." 

What a terrible fate ! She being in a hypnotic 
condition the day he is free from fever, and he 
being sick the day when the effects of her 
hypnotic condition is over. Were they ever 
married? Nobody can tell. For opposite their 
names in the record is a blank space, indicating 
that the license was never returned. 



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